Your Erroneous Zones

by Wayne W. Dyer

Write your own Declaration of Independence in which you spell out for yourself how you want to function in all relationships, not eliminating compromise, but wiping out any manipulation without representation. “I, the person, in order to have a more perfect union, etc.”

If it’s hot, they dig it, rather than complain about it. If they are in a traffic jam, or at a party, or all alone, they simply deal with what is there. There is no pretending to enjoy, but a sensible acceptance of what is, and an outlandish ability to delight in that reality. Ask them what they don’t like and they are hard pressed to come up with an honest answer.

Similarly, people free of erroneous zones are nonworriers. Circumstances that drive many people to frenzy barely affect these individuals. They are neither planners nor putters-away for the future. They refuse to worry and they keep themselves free from the anxiety that accompanies worry. They don’t know how to worry. It is not a part of their makeup. They are not necessarily calm at all moments, but they are unwilling to spend present moments agonizing about things in the future over which they have no control. They are very present-moment oriented, and they have an internal signal that seems to remind them that all worrying must take place in the present moment, and that it is a foolish way to go about living one’s current life.

They are not concerned with having to do it right or having done it wrong. If it doesn’t work, or it doesn’t accomplish the greatest amount of good, then it is discarded, rather than mulled over in regret. They are truth seekers in the learning sense, always excited about learning more and never believing they are a finished product. If they are around a barber, they want to learn about barbering. They never feel or act superior, showing off their merit badges for others to applaud. They learn from children and stock brokers and animals. They want to know more about what it means to be a welder, a cook, a hooker, or a corporate vice-president. They are learners not teachers. They never know enough, and they don’t know how to act snobbish or superior, since they never feel that way. Every person, every object, every event represents an opportunity for knowing more. And they are aggressive in their interests, not waiting for information to come along, but going after it. They’re not afraid to talk to a waitress, ask a dentist what it feels like to have your hands in someone’s mouth all day, or inquire of the poet what is meant by this or that line.

They won’t play games and try to impress others. They don’t dress for others’ approval, nor do they go through the motions of explaining themselves. They have a simplicity and naturalness, and they won’t get seduced into making issues of small or big things. They aren’t arguers or hot-headed debaters; they simply state their views, listen to others and recognize the futility of trying to convince someone else to be as they are. They’ll simply say, “That’s all right; we’re just different. We don’t have to agree.” They let it go at that without any need to win an argument or persuade the opponent of the wrongness of his position. They are unafraid of giving a bad impression but they don’t strive to do so.