Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be

by Marshall Goldsmith

Fairy tales end with “and they lived happily ever after.” That is why they are called fairy tales, not documentaries.

Pure gold

Instead of getting work done or catching up on much-needed sleep while crossing several time zones, I’d watch

Too many tabs

A feedback loop comprises four stages: evidence, relevance, consequence, and action. Once

Blog idea

Reference

It could be a toxic workplace or a violent neighborhood, the

Toxicity Note

Hersey and Blanchard’s premise was that leaders need to adapt their style to fit the performance readiness of their followers. Readiness not only varies by person, it also varies by task.

Interesting

This was “situational leadership.” It dissected the relationship between leaders and their followers into four distinct

Reference

measure the need, choose the style.

Reference

“dramatic narrative fallacy”—the

Blog

Reference

A politician once told me, “The most thankless decision I make is the one that prevents something bad from happening, because I can never prove that I prevented something even worse.” Preserving is the same. We rarely get credit for not messing up a good thing.

Interesting

“You’re not investing in your future,” he said. “You’re not researching and writing and coming up with new things to say. You can continue doing what you’re doing for a long time. But you’ll never become the person you want to be.”

Reference

Discovering what really matters is a gift, not a burden. Accept it and see.

Whoa

Did you do your best to be happy? 2. Did you do your best to find meaning? 3. Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people? 4. Did you do your best to be fully engaged?

Whoa

discipline I lack.) If earlier in the day I convinced a client to take our session outside for a long walk, I reported the number of minutes spent walking. If I stayed up late and woke up early, I reported my paltry sleep total. If I forgot to check in with Lyda that day, the answer to the last question was a flat “no.” The phone call never took longer than two minutes.

Automate

Automation

Leverage Brooke

We behave one way when we believe that there is another person at the helm. We can blame that stupid, uncaring person for our misfortune. This blaming permits us to get angry, act

The base of victimhood

There’s complaining about your managers, your colleagues, your rivals, your customers. (The average American worker spends fifteen hours a month complaining about his or her superiors.)

Whoa

“Every decision in the world is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that.”

Peter Drucker quote

pointless skirmishes. And we can do something about it—by doing nothing.

Environment

Attendance was mandatory; no exceptions (traveling executives participated by videoconference). No side discussions, no joking at the expense of others, no interruptions, no cell phones, no handing off parts of the presentation to a subordinate. Each leader was expected to articulate his group’s plan, status, forecast, and areas that needed special attention. Each leader had a mission to help—not judge—the other people in the room.

Structure

decision fatigue,

Blog

How we behave under the influence of depletion.

Deciding Under The Influence of Depletion

Can it be that simple? Evidently yes. The simpler the structure, the more likely we’ll stick with it. And Hourly Questions are fairly simple, comprising a series of steps that segue so smoothly from one to the other we barely register

Blog process

Did I do my best to enjoy who is here rather than what is being served?

Self tool

Did I do my best to set clear goals? 2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals? 3. Did I do my best to find meaning? 4. Did I do my best to be happy? 5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships? 6. Did I do my best to be fully engaged?

New da

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Most of us would mock a restaurant that never changed its menu. But we are not so reproachful or mocking with ourselves. We take a foolish pride in prolonging some behaviors as long as possible, with no regard for who is harmed.

Analogy