I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual

by Luvvie Ajayi Jones

You just posted a picture and then decided to use eleventy hashtags in the caption. I want Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, and LinkedIn to have a special forum about you where they suspend your ability to use hashtags and the only way it can be reinstated is if you promise to get your eLife together and never do that again. We have all seen that person who posts a picture of the sky on Instagram with the caption: #sky #blue #clouds #day #peace #love #hope #yup #picture #followme #ITookThis #ForReal #beautiful #lovely #DontDoThis #IBegOfYou #YouAreBetterThanThis #STOPITNOW. I hope those people go to the market and their favorite fruit is the only thing NOT on sale. I know why people use so many hashtags in their pictures: some terrible social-media strategist has told them that hashtags make their pictures easier to find. But who on Yahweh’s earth is searching for #day to find new people to follow? Please stop with this overuse. It makes you look desperate for followers. I know we all are, and whoever says they’re not is lying like good baby hair. But try to at least hide it better by not vomiting hashtags over everything.