From Lukov with Love

by Mariana Zapata

“Notice how you didn’t say you would’ve caught me doing a trust fall.” “I wouldn’t have.” I fucking knew it.

“Thank you,” like each word was getting plucked out of my mouth with pliers. “Don’t sound so excited,” he replied. Then he smiled. “Which bridge do you live under and how do we get there?”

I hated my ex and a few other people, but I just didn’t like Ivan. He was argumentative, arrogant, blunt…. I’d just described myself, hadn’t I? Shit.

“Fuck,” I heard Ivan mutter under his breath as I looked at his face… only to find that his eyes were squeezed closed. “What?” I snapped. “Nothing,” he snapped back immediately.

“You and me, Meatball. We’re going to win if that’s what you need. Understand me?”

Something warm touched my mouth later, and I’d swear I heard, “Drink it, baby,” whispered to me. And I drank it all. Whatever the hell it was.

“Choose, baby. Me or your brothers.” What in the hell? “No!” “Yes!” he shouted back.

“I believe in you. In us. Regardless of what happens, you will always be the best partner I’ve ever had. You’ll always be the hardest working person I’ve ever known. There will only ever be you.”

“It’s fine, Mom. Put your seat belt on.” She ignored me. “God, I want to light him on fire!” That went dark real quick.

Why did I feel like I was about to throw up? “Don’t you dare do it,” he hissed again, the arm around my shoulders tightening. “You don’t want anyone to see you do this. Hold it, baby, just hold it….”

And then he cut me off. With his mouth.

“You tried to get up,” he said to me in a voice so low I barely understood his words. “You tried to get up and keep skating, and I swear I almost started crying right then.”

I loved him. I loved this man so much that losing him was going to break my cold, dead heart into so many pieces I was just going to have to stick them in the same box I kept my dreams and carry it around with me forever.

And the only thing I could do to thank him for this gift he’d given me, this knowledge that he thought I was invincible, was to make sure we won. I’d give him the thing he had wanted me for in the first place. I’d give him my fucking all.

“Jasmine, it was because Ivan called me a week afterward and said he would ‘fuck me up’ if I ever contacted you again.”

“I also said that I’d destroy you. You missed that part,” a familiar voice piped up, making both of us turn to find Ivan peeking his head inside the room, the door barely cracked, hair perfectly gelled into place, his face shaved clean, everything about him bright and sparkling. And he was smiling. And holding red roses. I loved him.