From Lukov with Love

by Mariana Zapata

They were there every morning, usually farting around.

DID YOU REALLY THINK ID BE SITTING HERE FARTING AROUND NO IM CUSTOM WOOD BURNING

You are who you are in life, and you either live that time trying to bend yourself to make other people happy, or… you don’t.

“I’m not going to risk hurting you,” he tried to say before his cheek went tight. “Not while you’re my partner.”

aw babies first flirt

“What is Jasmine’s favorite food?” The idiot beside me didn’t miss a beat. “Chocolate cake.” How the hell did he know that?

“The only reason I give you so much shit is because you were a pain in the ass, and then you were the only one who dished it back to me. You know you’re beautiful.”

HEHEHEEHEHHEEH

“I came to check on you.”

Ivan had made me fucking hot chocolate. Without marshmallows according to him, but he wouldn’t have known that I only treated myself to hot cocoa with marshmallows on very rare occasions.

he wants you shawty

“You and me, Meatball. We’re going to win if that’s what you need. Understand me?”

Something warm touched my mouth later, and I’d swear I heard, “Drink it, baby,” whispered to me. And I drank it all. Whatever the hell it was.

OH ?

“Choose, baby. Me or your brothers.”

"baby"

“You. Matter. To. Me. You.

“I wanted you to be my partner for years, dumbass. When Karina had told me you were thinking about switching to pairs, I had thought you would say something to me, even in passing as a joke. I thought you would say you were going to kick my ass, and I had planned on talking to you over it. But you never did. The next thing I knew, you had a partner. Some dipshit that wasn’t half as good as you.”

“You’re enough. You will always be enough. Hear me?”

“I believe in you. In us. Regardless of what happens, you will always be the best partner I’ve ever had. You’ll always be the hardest working person I’ve ever known. There will only ever be you.”

“I’d give you every ribbon, trophy, medal, anything at my house or at the LC if it meant something,” he told me. “I’ll give you anything you want if you stop crying.”

But I meant what I said. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had.”

Love to me was honesty. Being real. Knowing someone’s best and worst. Love was a push that said someone believed in you when you didn’t.

Hold it, baby, just hold it….”

But they had never held my face before. At least not the way he did right then. Because his palms went to my cheeks and he cupped them. And then he cut me off. With his mouth. His lips pressed to mine. Surged to mine. Covered them. Hard. And then he kissed my upper lip between his while I was still trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. Ivan was kissing me. Kissing me.

“You tried to get up and keep skating, and I swear I almost started crying right then.”

I loved him. I loved this man so much that losing him was going to break my cold, dead heart into so many pieces I was just going to have to stick them in the same box I kept my dreams and carry it around with me forever.

This was my partner. This was more than my partner. He was my other half.

“Jasmine, it was because Ivan called me a week afterward and said he would ‘fuck me up’ if I ever contacted you again.”

Whatever happens, he mouthed to me. But then his lips kept forming words. Three words exactly. I love you.

“I love you so much I spend all day with you, and it still isn’t enough for me,” he kept going. I stopped breathing. “I love you so much, if I can’t skate with you, I don’t want to skate with anyone else.” Holy. Fuck. “I love you so fucking much, Jasmine, that if I broke my ankle during a program, I would get up and finish it for you, to get you what you’ve always wanted.”

“Because I’m okay with you having ten other people be your favorite. But you’re always going to be my favorite person,” he finished. “Always. No matter what.”