Sinner (Priest, #2)

by Sierra Simone

she ...

“It’s over with and it’s not happening again…and nothing happened to begin with...

I’m not past it! I’m not past the memory of her touch, the memory of wanting her—which isn’t even a memory right now. It’s real; it’s present, wanting her is my current state of being—and how the fuck am I ever supposed to get past the fact that this is Elijah’s little sister? Someone I held as a baby? Oh my God, I’m going to hell. I don’t even believe in hell and I’m going there, and what’s worse is that she believes in hell, probably; she believes in all this stupid stuff; she’s giving her life to the same church that killed my sister. How can I still want her after all that? Knowing she’s little Zenny, knowing that she’s choosing the one institution on this earth that I want to s...

“Zenny.”

And this time I touch her. Just a brush along the white, artificial-feeling fabric at her elbow. And she goes still and stiff, like I’ve frozen her to the spot.

“Tell me what last night was ...

I say, and I know I sound bossy. I know I’m using the same low voice that I would use to tell a woman to open her legs for my mouth. I know it and I don’t care. I don’t think I can handle living with last night in my mind without some kind of closure; I don’t think I can look at her for another second and not kiss her—I can’t listen to another word without needing her to say my name over and over again. Something has to shift, s...

“The honest-guy thing, remember? How about you give me the ...

From behind her, I can see the lift and drop of her slender, perfect shoulders as she breathes. I can see the catch of the sunlight through her curls an...

“Turn and look...

I coax gently, and then oh fuck, that was a mistake, because she does turn, she does look at me, and it’s like every time I forget. I forget how fucking gorgeous she is; I forget wha...

“Ple...

I say quietly, peering down in...

“Tell me about las...

The bright morning sun makes the copper in her eyes look molten, liquid, like her very soul is bubbling hot and waiting to be cast. She sighs, about to look down, and I don’t let her. I catch my finger under her chin to keep her eyes on me. My touch seems to shock her, and it shocks me too, and...

“I—I just wanted one last night...

she finally ...

“In a month, I’m professing as a novice, and aside from going to school, I’ll...

She trails off, as if catching herself using words she do...

“Then it will be time to seriously devote myself to the or...

“So you were going to ask just any old man you s...

“You’re not th...

“You know what I meant. Answer ...

Another...

“No. I just wanted to dress up and drink and have a night that wasn’t homework or cleaning shelter toilets or studying ecumenical texts. But then I saw you, and you didn’t recognize me at all, and it felt terrible but it also felt…safe, I guess. Like I knew you and didn’t know you at the same time. Like ...

“That was a dangerous as...

I tell her, feeling a spike of retr...

“The things I said to you last night—dammit, that wasn’t ...

She arches an ...

“So it was okay to say those things to me when I was just a stranger, but when you know I’m Elijah’s...

“Well, yes. And also you’re so young. And I’m not a good man. If you’d told me you wanted it, I would have spent the rest of th...

Her eyes widen and I remember we’re in a place ru...

“So...

I concede, dropping my finger from under her chin and running a h...

“But do you see why this is a little weird to me? You’re Elijah’s baby sister and now all of a sudden you’re a nun and the things I wanted to do to y...

“Is this the infamous Sean Bell having ...

“We haven’t seen each other for fou...

I say, miffed and amused at th...

“For all you know, I’m a very pri...

She rolls he...

“I talk to Elijah almost every day. I know enough to know your only princ...

“Unt...

I pro...

“Rea...

“Uh, yes, really. Witness me panicking that I had carnal thoughts a...

She waves ...

“That’s more about your fraternity with Elijah tha...

“I don’t see a meaningful difference bet...

“Are you still having carnal though...

she asks abruptly, and she asks it with that tempting combination of boldness and vulnerability that I can’t resist. Like she wants to know the answer so badly that she’s willing to expose her own curiosity and desire—and more than desire itself, but the desire to be desired. And it betrays so much about her—her youth and energy an...