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She’s in a white collared shirt and black jumper, a rosary hanging from her belt and a cross around her neck—as far away from the red dress she wore last night as she could possibly be, yet it’s still the same Mary. The same mesmerizing mouth, with its full upper lip pouting over the smaller bow of the lower one. The same tiny stud glinting from the side of her nose, the same eyes with their copper haloes around the pupils. It’s her. It’s her, and immediately, I remember the feel of her in my arms, the tentative touch of her fingers on the nape of my neck, the silky give of that tempting mouth
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“Mary,”
I say again, and my voice has changed, just enough to make her bite her lip, just enough to send that faint rosy hue to her ch...
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“S...
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she whi...
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“This was the job you wouldn’t te...
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“...
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“You’re a...
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She lets out a...
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“Well, I’m a postulant. And this order is semi-apostolic, so sister is really more correct than nun. We usually use the word nun to refer...
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I blink at her for a minute, willing all the words she just said to make some kind of sense. But they keep floating around in my brain, t...
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“So…you’re not...
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A quick, flickeri...
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“I’m not a sister yet. I’ll be a postulant for another month before I ente...
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“And then you’ll b...
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I...
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“And then I’ll be a novice for...
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“And ...
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The smile turns into...
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“Then I take temporary vows. If I still want to take permanent vows after three years, then I’ll be...
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“Jesus Ch...
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She laughs...
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“Well, yes. He is kind of ...
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Even in her plain postulant’s jumper, even with the white headband holding her curls away from her face, she’s stunning. In fact, something about the starkness of the setting, the starkness of her clothes, makes her even more beautiful than she was last night. My dick gives an insistent throb, reminding me that I never got a chance to kiss her, reminding me that I never got a chance to sling her leg over my shoulder and taste her. And you’ll never get to now, Bell. She’s a fucking nun.
“I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand.”
“Damn right I don’t understand,”
I say, beginning to feel genuinely irritated. No, not irritated. Upset. I’m upset that I met this girl, that I want her, that I want to kiss her and I want to fuck her and I want to dance with her again, and I can’t do any of those things because she wants to offer up her life to a nonexistent deity. I mea...
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as she tilts her head impatiently, and even as the sun shifts behind the clouds and throws her face into a new relief of light and shadow and I see the echoes of Elijah’s cheekbones and eyes and forehead—even as all this happens, I know. Fuck me.
“Zenny?”
I ask. And then again, because it still doe...
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“Ze...
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She doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t need to, because I can see it now. Not just her similarity to Elijah, but her similarity to the little girl I used to know. But shit, she’s no little girl now. Fourteen years is apparently a long fucking time, which is something I know intellectually, of course, but seeing the evidence of it like this is disorienting. Unreal. Zenny is a woman. A woman I wanted to fuck last night. Little Zenny! And I almost...
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“Elijah is going to ...
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I mumble through my...
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“Oh my God. He’s going to...
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I see the tiniest flash of amusement in her gaze before it ...
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“It’s fine, Sean. Nothing happe...
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“Nothing happened? Jesus, Zenny, I just about kissed yo...
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I turn away from the window for a moment and ...
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“Why didn’t you say anything? You obviously knew who I was—why didn’t yo...
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“You didn’t recog...
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she replies calmly. There’s something challenging in her eyes when she looks up at me. Or maybe it’s not challenging—maybe it’s…hurt? But that’s ridiculous. Why would she be hurt ...
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“And I didn’t see any reason to tell you. Especially in light of what’s going...
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“But you still wanted me to...
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I point out (and yes, I say it to...
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“Even though I’m the big, bad wolf trying to take you...
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Her eyes flash again, but this time not with amusement. She walks away from the window, and next to me, I hear a door open. She stands in the threshold, looking more sweetly glamorous than any gir...
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“Shall we get s...
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“No! Zenny, you owe me more than that, fo...
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“I’m not talking about this...
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