Suddenly Forbidden (Gray Springs University, #1)

by Ella Fields

“I’m gonna marry you someday, Daisy June.”

They follow you around like you’re a chocolate popsicle and they’ve been left out in the sun too long.” Chuckling, I lowered my head even more and whispered against her caramel scented lips. “I didn’t notice. Maybe because all I see is you.”

“I’m not scared. You and me … like the moon and the stars, we’re permanent.”

She had always wanted him. But he was all I saw; I never saw anything else.

I’ll never stand by and just let stuff like that happen to you. No one treats you like anything other than the kind, beautiful ray of sunshine you are.”

I’ve been in love with you since I could remember, but it’s changed.” Noticing my sudden concern, he pecked my lips, then continued against them, “Gotten stronger every fucking day, month, and year. To the point where you’ve become a permanent part of me, and I don’t know if I could ever exist without you.”

“You’re everything good in this world. You glow so brightly, I never stood a chance.”

“Holy motherfucking shit balls of fire on a frog pond’s lily pad of fuck.”

She was my first in every way, in a way that messed up something fundamental inside me when I realized we weren’t going to be each other’s last.

Meant a lot to each other. We more than meant a lot to each other. We were the breeze that ruffled the dandelions. The sun that scorched our skin red until we searched for reprieve under our favorite willow tree. And underneath the stretch of dark skies, we were each other’s stars.

That was the thing about first love. People often said a first love stayed with you long after you met your second, third, or even fourth love. What they failed to mention was that kind of permanence resonated deeper for some and made it almost impossible to let go. Leaving you to walk the earth feeling as though you were constantly missing a part of yourself.

A part of me wanted to get on my hands and knees and beg her to savor every single moment, to cherish it for the magic it was. For magic had a way of disappearing, leaving you with an empty illusion of what you thought you once had.

Staring at me, his eyes full of wonder, he said, “I can’t stop. I can’t do this anymore. It’s you and me. It was always meant to be you and me, and I’m done trying to fight it.”

“You smell and taste like my heart,” he whispered to the underside of my chin, pressing lazy kisses. “And you feel like fucking heaven.”

There really were no winners when it came to games of the heart. Unless you count your miseries as victories.

It was true. I couldn’t control what anyone thought or said about me. But I could damn well control what I did.

“You’ve always been effortlessly pretty, but now, you’re beautiful. Effortlessly beautiful.”

Maybe you didn’t always need to try to capture beauty. Sometimes, you simply needed to experience it, let it seep into you and fill your soul with color instead.

“Does your offer still stand?” “It was never an offer. It was a statement. A feeling I had in my gut.” “Really?” “Yeah. How you can simply look at something or someone and just see it. Feel it.” “What?” I asked. “You. Us. Years from now. Always.”

I was an idiot to lose hope once our forever had been interrupted. To think that what we had couldn’t endure anything that came our way. Some things were simply irrefutable and inescapable. The stars, the moon, and the way my heart would always beat in sync with hers.