Whisper Me This

by Kerry Anne King

I want to tell him I don’t have a caretaking bone in my body. I want to tell him I need to go see Mom. I want to tell him that parents are for leaning on, not the other way around.

I remember this feeling whwn my mom got sick

“She’s dying,” the nurse says. “Do you really want to prolong the process?”

Little worried if this book is foing to trigger me. Doctors and nurses said this to us and i hate them. I feel like they pressured us to allow my mom to die on some level. Its like i was somehow bad foe not agreeing and gojng along with them and every other member of my family. I buried my voice down so i didnt cause a problem and deep down i hate myself for it. Then i reember my mom had a DNR. Still doctors and nurses shoukdnt do thid guilt.

“No,” I manage to whisper. “If she . . . if she dies, let her . . . don’t bring her back.” She pats my hand, approvingly.

No. Don’t let her die. Bring on all the tubes, all the machines, all the treatments. Whatever it takes. Don’t let her go away from me. Dr. Margoni

This is how i felt....and somehow this made me bad....i wish i would have fought this. Not fifhting this is the biggest mistake of my life.

I am in over my head. This is an understatement. I am miles below the surface, in the deepest, darkest canyon of the ocean floor, and I’m not in some special little diver bell contraption, either.

Been there-finally read words to express how i felt