Dearest Ivie (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #15.5)

by J.R. Ward

Honestly, you stretch those vowels out any longer and we’re going to have to put you on life support.”

Kind of like destiny, she thought. You didn’t know what was going on until you were out on the other side of things.

I’m not scared of death, it’s the suffering that bothers me—and I know I can help that. It’s the journey, not the outcome, that I can change, if that makes sense.”

“It’s peaceful. Death can be a release and a relief for the person, and that is a blessing. The thing is, a lot of times, it is work to die. It requires physical and emotional effort. What sucks is that for most, particularly if they’re dying out of sequence, it’s a job they don’t want. It’s about loss of control, loss of function, loss of identity and independence…loss of choice and decision, of family and friends. But if you can let go of all that, what comes with it is freedom. A soaring freedom, the soul released from its temporary prison of mortality.”

Wow. So true.

“Yeah, except here’s the thing.” She put her hands up. “Ya dead, either way. So it’s a win/win. You get eternal life with calorie-free M&M’s and fettuccini Alfredo—or, you’re worm food with no consciousness so you won’t know and won’t care. Might as well assume the best because it’s less likely to drive you crazy with a depressing distraction while you’re whooping it up on this side, right?”

It was the kiss. For that brief moment, the volume of her world had been cranked up to Metallica levels, and she had loved the booming bass, and the spinning and twirling, and the sense that her heart had taken flight and not left her body, but taken her physical form along with it.

“But it doesn’t matter what you look like.” He lifted his head and stared at her. “The details of size and shape don’t matter to me. The fact that it is you…that is what makes it beautiful to me.”

“I love you, Ivie. I really do. And if dying is what I have to do to deserve you, all I can say is, my life for knowing you is a bargain I’d pick every time. I’m just…sorry about how this is going to end.”

The reality is that the dying are still living just as everyone who is living is in the process of dying.

“Please don’t forget me. I know I’m probably supposed to tell you to move on with your life and dwell on this little slice of time we’ve been given…but just…take me in your heart wherever you go. It will be the life I wished I’d lived, by your side, enjoying the gift of time and health with you.”

Sometimes just showing up in person meant everything.

“I will love you with everything I am and all that I have…”