In Other Lands

by Sarah Rees Brennan

“Well, elvish women are driven by powerful lusts that men cannot understand,” Serene said in matter-of-fact tones. “Let’s just leave it at that, shall we!” Luke implored. “Please go on, Serene, don’t stop, this is very interesting,” said Elliot. “Once a woman’s passion is roused it can be very difficult for her to stop until the act of love is completed,” said Serene. “Preferably several times over. How can an innocent man understand such desires? As I understand it, men are completely exhausted when they complete the act of love once.” “Well, not completely!” said Elliot. “After the first flush of youth,” Serene said sadly, “men are only able to perform the act once a night.” “Please talk about something else or maybe kill me,” said Luke. “I don’t want to live in this world any more.” “Thus, necessarily, a man must perform attentions upon a woman when he is no longer aroused, which is why for a man such acts are more about feelings of the heart than of other areas,” said Serene. “Else how can a woman be satisfied with just one man? Of course, the elves in the eastern woods have different arrangements—” “You know what would be amazing?” Luke said. “If we were kidnapped, bound, and gagged—the gagged bit is really important—and put to death by brigands like right now. Right now. Brigands!” He looked around. The woods at night offered the hoot of an owl, and the rustle of leaves in a breeze, but no brigands. “We’re sharing differing cultural points of view and information,” E...