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Elliot and three other kids from his class had been packed into a van by their harassed-looking French teacher and driven outside the city. Elliot objected because after an hour in a moving vehicle he would be violently sick. The other kids objected because after an hour in a moving vehicle they would be violently sick of Elliot.
they arrived at their destination, which could only be described as a classic example of a “random field in Devon, England.” Much like any other random field in England.
The random field boasted a stone wall so high Elliot could not see over the top, and a woman wearing extremely odd clothing who appeared to be waiting for them. She and their French teacher had a quiet conference, and as Elliot watched them he saw money change hands.
The woman in odd clothing “tested” him by asking him if he could see a wall standing in the middle of a field. When he told her, “Obviously, because it’s a wall. Walls tend to be obvious,” she had pointed out the other kids blithely walking through the wall as if it was not there, and told him that he was one of the chosen few with the sight.
She blinked and told him to come away with her to a magical land. “By a magical land,” she told him, “I mean a place that not everybody can see, a place with—” “With mermaids?” Elliot asked. “I don’t need you to explain to me the concept of a magical land filled with fantastic creatures that only certain special children can enter. I am acquainted with the last several centuries of popular culture. There are books. And cartoons, for the illiterate.”
“Okay,” Elliot had said finally, brandishing his phone in the woman’s face. “But I have the number of the police, and I will have my finger on the call button at all times, in case you are a child predator.”
the magical land seemed to be mostly grass. There were fields, more fields, several more fields, a couple of rough, round stone towers which men with weapons were exiting and entering. Elliot had cheered up when he saw a man walk by, books under his arm, who had long hair and pointed ears—there were elves—and dwarves—like from fairy tales, men and women alike with beards and carrying elaborately carved hammers. He looked around for other marvels.
Elliot had not expected a magical land to be all fields—some of the fields had cows in them, and he was pretty sure they weren’t magic cows—and other kids. Elliot especially did not like the “other kids” aspect of magic land. Elliot had “does not interact well with peers” on all his report cards.
The blond guy was wandering around from kid to kid, talking kindly to them and taking hold of them by one shoulder with the patronizing air of a kid who thought he was as good and wise as a teacher. He knelt and spoke to one much smaller girl in a My Little Pony T-shirt, then rose to his feet and turned away, leaving her staring after him with shining eyes as he obviously forgot all about her: as if he were a king dispensing largesse to the peasants. The other boy was following the blond guy around, nodding at everything he said. Both of them looked entirely self-assured about the whole
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“Sure, what do you need explained?” asked Surfer Dude. Elliot rolled his eyes and saw that Blondie’s sweet blue eyes had narrowed. He tilted his head and grinned. “First off, this,” said Elliot, and produced his phone from his pocket. It looked a little bit melty and was sending off sparks. Surfer Dude took a step back. “You’d better give me that,” said Blondie. “You could hurt yourself.” He stepped forward. Elliot took a step to the side, and the group as a whole moved away from Elliot. Everyone else had discarded their technology when it malfunctioned, because they were quitters. “Nope,”
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“Not everyone who can see the Border belongs on the right side,” he observed. “Being trained to protect the Border is a sacred duty. And my father says that some people are too weak and too concerned with their own comfort to fight the good fight.” “That’s fascinating. Run along.”
She was tall, slim, and strong-looking as a young birch tree, and as she turned her long dark hair spun out in the steadily blowing wind. It formed a trail of darkness, touched by autumn leaves twined around her tresses: her pale face stood out in sharp relief, and so did the pearl-pale curling points of her ears. This was an elf maiden. This was, bar none, the coolest person Elliot had ever seen.
“Hello,” said the beautiful elven maid. “I was just thinking, and I mean no offence, but—how can any fighting force crowded with the softer sex hope to prevail in battle?” “Huh?” said Elliot brilliantly. “The softer what?” “I refer to men,” said the elf girl. “Naturally I was aware the Border guard admitted men, and I support men in their endeavor to prove they are equal to women, but their natures are not warlike, are they?” Elliot offered, after a long pause: “I don’t enjoy fighting.” She favored him with a slow smile, like dawn light spreading on water. “Very natural.” “In fact,” Elliot
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He was going for a combination of shy and winsome. As he had never tried to act like this ever before, he wasn’t sure how well he was succeeding, but the elf maid unbent further. So he couldn’t be doing too badly.
“What’s your name?” “Serene.” “Serena?” Elliot asked. “Serene,” said Serene. “My full name is Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle.” Elliot’s mouth fell open. “That is badass.” Serene’s serious countenance did not change, but Elliot felt a subtle shift of that slim body: he was fairly certain she was preening.
“This country is called the Borderlands, though,” he said. “And the Border means the giant magic wall?” Surfer Dude nodded and smiled his happy smile. “Yes.” “And humans came from across the Border,” Elliot said. “Did we invade?” He leaned forward. “Tell me right now, are we engaged in a system of colonial oppression?” The boy’s happy smile melted away, like ice-cream in relentless verbal sunshine. “I don’t know . . .,” said Surfer Dude helplessly, “what most of the words you just used mean.”
“And this is a training camp for the Border guard, the people who made up all the laws and enforce them. This Border guard is partly kids from across the wall and partly kids from the Borderlands villages, but mostly . . . ?” Surfer Dude’s smile resurrected itself. “The backbone of the Border guard are the families who settled in the fortresses built along the Border itself centuries ago, and have protected it ever since, raising their sons in the tradition.”
He and Captain Woodsinger and Luke Apparently-Not-Sunburn and many of the other humans were dressed like that, in a lot of leather and straps. It looked pretty ridiculous to Elliot, especially compared to Serene’s form-fitting clothes, soft and green as moss.
the Wavechasers aren’t anything compared to the Sunborns,” he said. “They were the first family. They held the Border on their own for a generation. There are songs about them: the shining ones, the golden guard, the laughing warriors. The Sunborn family is an army unto itself. Even their women are all soldiers, and a Sunborn woman is as good as any man.”
So Blondie was basically the scary warrior equivalent of a trust-fund kid, the kind who had their pictures in the paper on the regular. One of life’s born winners, with golden luck to go with the hair. No wonder he was glaring over at Elliot, looking betrayed and unhappy as a wet cat, as if nothing like being laughed at had ever happened to him before.
And your lady mother has expressed serious reservations about your behaviour in joining up.” Serene tossed her dark hair. “My mother was the wildest elf in the woods until she met my father,” she said. “I can have an adventure of my own. Anyone who thinks I am not equal and more than equal to any human challenge will soon realize their mistake.”
Phones exploded here, and there was way more nature than Elliot was comfortable with, but there were mermaids and harpies and also true love. Besides, it wasn’t like there was much to go back to.
In his first class, Elliot was presented with a quill, which he promptly broke in two and threw against a wall. He’d brought a pencil with him in his pocket: he clung to it as his only hope and insisted on using it to take notes on the parchment provided. (Magic land also did not have notebooks.)
He would also have been happier if he’d been able to keep his hoodie and jeans, but this morning he had woken to find his clothes stolen and had thus been forced into the uniform of those in council training. The others called his clothes a tunic and breeches: Elliot called them a dress and leggings,
Elliot looked for Serene in every class, and saw her in none. He had no idea how to find her, so at the end of the day he stuffed his new books (they were awesome) and his parchment (it was stupid, and nobody had listened to his impassioned speech on the topic of notebooks) into his bag, and went in quest of her.
He turned and beheld the most horrible sight imaginable: his beautiful Serene and Luke Sunborn. They were actually walking together and obviously getting along, their arms brushing, their gold and dark heads bowed together. They were both wearing the uniform of the war-training cadets, and Elliot had to admit the leather and straps actually looked good on Serene. They looked like a natural pair, a matched set. They looked like a couple from a storybook.
“I wish to be enrolled in both the war-training and council-training courses,” said Serene. “I cannot be content with simply taking one. There is no such thing as too much learning and both have too much of value to offer me.” “Absolutely not. Get out of here,” said Commander Rayburn.
Made me laugh
“Do you have something to say, cadet?” “No,” said Elliot prudently. Then his actual personality reasserted itself and he said: “Well, actually yes. Okay, I’ve only been in the otherlands for a day, and so far it’s all horrible and confusing, but this much I understand. Serene is the first female elf to join the Border camp, and the women of her kind are more highly valued socially than the men. She’s also of a very high rank. If you send her home saying that you doubt her capabilities, you will be insulting the elves, and they are one of the few nonhumans the humans actually have an alliance
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Serene was obviously in way over her head. It was not her fault. She was brilliant and amazing and perfect, and if anyone in the world could have done it she could have, but there simply were not enough hours in the day. Those in council training were meant to burn the midnight oil (literally; God grant Elliot patience, but he would rather have electricity), and those in war training were meant to rise at dawn. She was not getting enough sleep.
“Serene missed every bull’s-eye,” said Luke. “She could barely focus on the target. She still did better than a lot of the other cadets, mind you,” he added with notable pride: it almost made Elliot have a positive feeling about Luke. “Who won the archery competition, then?” “Me, of course,” said Luke. Ah, there went all positive feelings. Status quo restored.
Starting to get very annoyed at the main characters extreme judgemental behavior and disdain for the world and culture he joined right from the start.
“How would it be if Serene skipped the earliest classes, and you remembered the lessons and trained her? And while you train her, I could read to her and try to catch her up in our lessons so she won’t have to study late. She’ll have to multi-task, but she won’t be too exhausted to do it.” Luke thought this over, and then nodded. “All right. So we’ll work together on this. Truce?” “For the year,” said Elliot hastily. “We’re not friends.” “I’m not confused on that issue,” said Luke. He spat in his hand and held it out. “Deal?” Elliot backed away. “Ugh, no, I’m not touching your spit. That’s
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“If you must know, she is the one soul destined for my own, and we are going to be together forever,” he declared loftily. “That’s weird,” Luke told him. “We’re thirteen.” “I don’t care what you think!” “Elliot, don’t yell, we’ll get thrown out,” Serene grumbled, appearing rumpled in the stacks. “Merciful goddess, Luke, what are you doing in the library?” Luke looked betrayed.
One night, Serene fell asleep in the practise room, and rather than wake her and deprive her of yet more sleep, they let her sleep. Luke covered her with his jacket. Elliot found that offensive showing off, since Elliot’s uniform did not come with a cool leather jacket.
“You did say you were only helping because you . . . had a crush on Serene,” said Luke. “Excuse you,” said Elliot. “I worship her. Do not underestimate my feelings. My devotion is intense and will be enduring!”
He would’ve thought about being a teacher when he grew up, but Elliot knew himself, and he knew that the impressionable and tenderhearted should be protected from him.
There were not many girls in the Border camp at all, and Myra was special. Elliot had wonderful suspicions about Myra. She was very short and had dark hair on her upper lip. Elliot had seen dwarves on the day people had signed up for training camp, and never after: it made sense to him that they had been seeing off someone who had signed up. Also, Myra had an elaborately carved axe under her desk. Not that Elliot was making any judgments based on that fact.
“Hiiii,” Elliot said ingratiatingly as they approached. Myra and Peter looked surprised to see him, but—Elliot thought—not unhappy. Elliot was an expert in people being unhappy to see him. “Can I sit with you guys?” Elliot asked. “Of—of course!” said Peter. Elliot felt his winning smile widen into a real grin. He had not expected this to be so easy. He’d always had to chase the kids down the road to make them keep him company.
“Where’s Dale Wavechaser?” Elliot demanded. Luke blinked. “Who’s Dale Wavechaser?” “Your friend!” said Elliot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Luke. “Which is life as usual, I guess.” Just because Luke, Serene, and Elliot had fallen into something of a routine did not mean that Luke had the right to describe that routine as “life as usual.” He was giving Elliot’s new friends entirely the wrong impression.
Serene is an avatar of elven perfection, and I praise her every day,”
By the way, do people think this world is flat? Is it flat? What happens if you try to cross the sea?” “If you sail into the deepest ocean, you are killed by giant mermaids,” Peter said flatly. “Fascinating,” Elliot sighed. “You’ve made me very happy.”
“I don’t want to help you steal stuff,” said Luke. “You are talking nonsense, Luke. Obviously I am going to give it back. Besides, is Mr Dustlaid going to punish me? Really? He can barely summon up the will to live. I don’t know how any of the councilors get any treaties written.”
The system of war training and council training in the Border camp made more sense now. Once, perhaps, there had been no general, and no colonels beneath him, and only a few fortresses with commanders and their trusted councilors running them together. Now there were fortresses dotted across the otherlands, a general placed over them all, everyone thought they were too important and military to listen to councilors, and the commander who ran the Border camp was under orders to produce more warriors. No wonder the council course had shrunk down to nothing, and all the councilors taught in a
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Who built the wall that marks the Border?” “Nobody built the wall,” said Luke. “It’s always been there.” “Someone built the wall,” said Elliot. “Because it’s a wall, and not a rock. Rocks are always there. Walls are not. Someone has to make a wall. Nobody has to make a rock.” “Says who?” asked Luke. Elliot squinted. “Luke, are you being metaphysical?” Luke looked alarmed. “I don’t think so.” “Pity,” said Elliot. “I would have been very impressed.” “I doubt that somehow,” said Luke.
Elliot looked at his pudding and was very sad about his life and his choices. How had he wound up here, in a place where all he had was pudding—Elliot would have sold his soul for a chocolate bar—and awful people who at the age of thirteen asked questions like “What if we were both dead?”
“Your gentle nature is unsuited to war,” Serene told him. “It’s all right to be frightened. I think you have a valiant spirit and you will rise to the occasion.”
“Forcing groups of teenagers to learn how to use deadly force is really weird and disturbing!” he announced, throwing another knife, and another, and then one over his shoulder. “Everyone has a choice, if they choose to make one, and I choose not to do this.
What the fuck was he expecting when he decided and chose to sign up to defend somewhere
Elliot rolled his eyes as he was dragged off to the commander’s rooms, where Commander Rayburn walked in and said, “Oh, the elf’s little ginger boyfriend” in a despairing and, Elliot considered, unprofessional manner. “What have you been doing now?” “Staged a pacifist protest,” said Elliot. “Also, Serene and I have not defined the parameters of our relationship yet, though I have high hopes.” “He staged a pacifist protest by hurling knives all over everywhere,” reported Captain Woodsinger from her place at the door, throwing the commander a snappy salute. “Unusual,” said Commander Rayburn. He
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Trigon was as stupid a game as Elliot had imagined it was. It involved a lot of jumping—someone was going to sprain an ankle, if not break a leg—and grabbing at a giant glass ball. Someone was going to get hit in the head and get glass shards embedded in their skull.
It wasn’t that Luke caused all the terrible things at the Border camp to happen. It was mostly just that he was the one who told Elliot about them, and so it seemed like they were all his fault. Elliot chose to blame Luke anyway.
Even if Luke had not known where he was going, it would have been easy to spot the Sunborns: every one of them was tall and the kind of person you looked at, with golden hair that shone as if a whole host of tiny suns had congregated on a picnic blanket. Serene sat among them looking very dark and pale and solemn indeed, but if you knew her you could tell she was happy to be there. There was a man who had to be Luke’s father with shoulders basically the size of a mountain range, they should probably have a name, and a girl Serene was sitting beside who Elliot assumed was Louise. She was very
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