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Luke jumped out of the rigging and landed on the deck near Elliot. “Nobody should’ve been able to make that jump without breaking a leg,” said a sailor. “That’s absurd.” “I know!” said Elliot. “I know, right? I’ve been saying it for years. Be my best friend.” The sailor’s eyes glowed. “He’s amazing.” “Get away from me, never speak to me again,” said Elliot, and moved to what he thought was starboard.
Life was not like this in the other world, he thought. And he had seen mermaids now.
“What—no. He likes you,” said Elliot, and ran his fingers through his wet hair. “And now I’ve officially told everybody.”
“Oh,” said Dale. “But he likes me, so I don’t have to sublinear it.” Elliot opened his mouth and then shut it, in mercy.
Elliot left his own damn cabin and went to the library instead of saying he knew what first love felt like. Because Luke was right: his hadn’t been fairy-tale love, storybook love. Unlike him, Serene and Luke were going to be loved back.
Elliot always wanted to pretend he was as secure as they were.
in choosing one path, another was lost. He spared a moment to feel something almost like grief.
“Do you know something else? If you’d loved me, I would’ve stayed,” said Elliot. “If you loved me, I would never have gone.” “What do you want me to say?” his father asked. “I never felt it. I don’t have it in me.” “I don’t want you to say anything. Not anymore. I wanted to say something.”
He did not leave his name behind him, but carried it with him,
“Sure,” said Elliot, laughing. “Please tell me an embarrassing secret about Luke. I would love that.”
The news that Luke’s biological father was not Michael Sunborn but, in fact, a harpy, was received with stunned silence. For about ten seconds.
Bright-Eyes the librarian gave Elliot his familiar disapproving look, because Elliot was a wanton floozy with many late fines.
“You’re right,” Elliot said. “I shouldn’t. Only it was reported to me—” “By one of your spies?” the commander asked. “No, no,” said Elliot. “Not spies. People I have terrorized into doing my bidding and watching other people and places for me. You pay spies.
“Cadet Schafer, since you mentioned my personal appearance, do you know why I got this haircut?” Commander Woodsinger inquired. “It was so that, when faced with your rank insubordination, I would be able to resist the urge to tear my hair out in handfuls.” “Aw, Commander!” said Elliot. “You were thinking of me over the summer. I’m touched.”
None of them could make what they were go away: you had to accept it.
“Everything is going to go great, provided you do exactly what I want.”
The more Luke mattered to him, the more Elliot expected to be hurt.
Elliot was right about this. He had to be. If he was not, then he had not just been cruel to Luke last night. He had been cruel to Luke for years.
I don’t make friends easily. Not just because of home, but because of me. I might have got some things wrong and done some things wrong. Last night, for instance. Among many other times.”
He had done something wrong, and said he was sorry and meant it, and been forgiven. It was as simple as that, and Elliot could not believe it.
Elliot could not help but think of how often he had struck out wildly to defend himself, when just saying what he felt would have worked.
He did not know how to act, if Luke cared what he felt.
Elliot did not know why the two most important women in his life had to be deadpan snarkers.
swordsisters before misters.
What was new was that they were both trying not to hurt each other, and trusting that neither of them wanted to hurt the other.
Elliot was not as good at this new “being nice to each other” thing as Luke, but it was a great relief to Elliot that, now Luke knew Elliot liked him, he was no longer taking Elliot’s horrible personality personally.
Trust me, I am an expert. I insult people all the time.” Luke raised his eyebrows. “This is shocking new information.”
Do you think we could sell Dale to pirates?” Myra stared. “No, Elliot.”
“We have to do something!” “No, Elliot,” said Myra. “We don’t. I was just talking. I was simply discussing our classmates and their relationships like a normal person. We do not have to sell anybody to pirates.” “I’m a problem solver,” said Elliot. “I want to solve a problem.” “I think I’m getting a migraine,” said Myra, gathering up her books. “Hey, where are you going?” “I really like you, Elliot,” Myra said. “But I can only take so much. You understand?”
Elliot scanned Luke’s face. Elliot was not certain that he was great at analyzing people.
“No,” Luke said. “I mean, do you want to go—with me. Just us. So we can—talk.”
“I don’t have harpy cancer,” Luke said, once he was done laughing. “Do you want to go out on a date with me?”
He got up and hit Luke over the head with the book by the troll’s ex, perhaps hitting him harder than a truly committed pacifist would have.
Everyone Elliot had ever wanted to love him had loved someone else better: had wanted someone else more.
“What would you think about selling Dale to pirates?”
Then he smiled, a small smile, as if the most important thing about Luke’s potential impending demise was that Elliot might be concerned.
On both sides of the wall were strangers and weird sights, terrible until you loved them. Our lands were always otherlands, to someone else.
It was Luke. He was sitting on a tree stump, and had made no effort to attract Elliot’s attention. He showed no sign of restlessness. He was just waiting.
He was terrible at feelings. He had never practised them, for long years in his father’s house, and he was like one of the kids in warrior training who hit themselves over the head with their own bows. He’d got it wrong. He’d got it all wrong this time, and he was sure he would get it all wrong again in the future.
“I don’t want to hear any more of what you think about the Sunborns.” Luke did something close to snarling, a predatory bird’s cry and a hiss tangled together in his voice. “I don’t sing. And I don’t dance. And I don’t want anyone else.”
“You want to talk about boys, and crushes, you want to laugh about it the way my family does,” Luke said. “Fine. Let’s talk about when I tried to be with Dale, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Hey,” Elliot murmured, cupping his face in his hands, kissing him, trying to make the kiss say I did not mean to hurt you and I won’t do it again.
He kissed Elliot as if he really wanted to: as if he wanted nothing else.
you cannot guard yourself against the whole world. You only succeed in placing a barrier between yourself and the world.”
They were right, Elliot thought. If he was not inherently unlovable, if he had not chosen someone who would never want him as much as he wanted them, then he had to take the risk and try. He had to trust that they would both try.
“Excuse me, sweetheart,” said Elliot. “Darling? A moment of your time? Sugarplum? Sugargrape? Sugarassortedfruitsandvegetables?” Luke did not even turn his head. “HEY, LOSER!” said Elliot. “Elliot,” Luke said at once,
Just the truth, Elliot reminded himself. Not what he thought someone else wanted to hear, or what he thought would protect himself. Just the truth, and trusting that someone else would care to hear it.
Luke was, Elliot thought, better at this than he was. Which made perfect sense: Elliot might have had a boyfriend and a girlfriend before, but Luke had been loved his whole life.
whose conversational stylings Adam Sunborn had once described as “You know when a nest of hornets goes mad.”
