Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs

by Marc Chernoff

We feel overwhelmed because we think we should be further along than we are.

Instead, take a deep breath, let all that thinking and ruminating go, and bring your attention to the present moment.

Real pain, heartbreak, and failure are experiences that can help us grow.

What you choose to focus on grows stronger in your life.

Life is full of uncontrollable circumstances; the only thing we can control is how we choose to respond. When you take the time to think about it, everything happening

happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to use them as opportunities to change your perspective for the better.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing, because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose.

Worrying and complaining change nothing.

Rumi wrote, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.

focus a little less on managing your problems and a little more on managing your mindset.

We know that change and growth can be uncomfortable. We also know that in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.

the key to moving from procrastination to progress is realizing that you don’t have to have everything figured out when you start.

What is worth suffering for? Is the change you’re about to implement—be it ending a relationship, leaving a job, or something else—truly going to help you move toward the life you want to lead? If so, then it’s probably worth enduring some pain and discomfort to get there.

When you’re focused on all the good that will come from making the change you desire, the sacrifices you’ll have to make to achieve that change simply won’t seem as big a deal.

If you want something in life, you have to embrace the costs of getting it; you have to be willing to make certain sacrifices. And it’s up to you, and only you, to decide if the benefits are worth the cost.

change is built: in the uneasiness and discomfort.

it’s not about how hard life can hit you; it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.

Do your best and surrender the rest.

what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what people think of you. Don’t let others make you feel guilty for living your life.

Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting with insecurity and doubt.

Small acts of positive intention will only help to strengthen your resolve, reignite your passion for living,

Hardships often push us to face the reality of life’s impermanence, to appreciate our limits, and to find more meaningful understandings of who we are and how we want to spend the rest of our lives.

we can still use the power of post-traumatic growth to inspire us toward meaningful goals.

you can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, but you can easily lift one pound a thousand times.

You are not the center of the universe—so stop making it all about you.

Happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly okay with what is rather than wishing for and worrying about what is not.

Feeling discouraged and defeated is a sign that it’s time to make a change—so make that change.

Epicurus so profoundly said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once

among the things you only hoped for.”

Each person is mentally and emotionally strong enough to stand on their own two feet but can also lift the other up when the need arises.

If your happiness is dependent on the constant validation and approval of someone else, then you are giving away far too much of your power.

So the next time you feel pressured to impress someone, try taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that you don’t owe anyone your constant justification.

You have the authority to decide how to spend your time and energy.

the foundation of love is to let those we care about be unapologetically themselves, and not distort them to fit our own egotistical

ideas of who they should be.

Don’t try to read anyone’s mind, and don’t make anyone try to read yours.

When disagreements in a relationship arise, the easiest thing to do is to run away, especially if you’re not a confrontational person by nature. But you have to catch yourself, because this isn’t just about you and whether or not you feel like dealing with your differences. It’s about what your relationship needs in order to grow and thrive in the long run. You have to put your relationship’s needs ahead of your own for a moment. Both people must be committed to dealing with disagreements openly, because running from them will only make matters more difficult to deal with down the road.

Giving your partner and friends the space to save face, and not taking things personally when they’re occasionally upset, cranky, or having a bad day, is a priceless gift.

almost nothing in life is personal—things happen, or they don’t, and it’s rarely all about anyone specifically.

When your actions and thoughts revolve around another person at the expense of your own individuality, that’s codependency. When you believe another person inherently owes you something, that’s entitlement.

Realize that there’s no reason to expect others to treat you the way you treat them—not everyone has the same heart as you.

do your best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.

After all, you can’t always change your circumstances, but you can always change your attitude about your circumstances.

what can we do? The only choice we have: let go and be mindful.

We can choose how we’re going to respond to life’s surprises and disappointments when they arise, and whether we will see them as problems or opportunities for personal growth.

those ultrachallenging moments, that we can often find the greatest opportunity for growth and cultivating happiness by recalibrating our mind-set.

But taking the time to ask themselves, “Is that really true? Can

Remember, when you stop chasing after the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch up with you. It’s

Forcing yourself to take the next step is the first step to feeling more confident (and generally happier too).