Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship

by Kayleen Schaefer

Stressed women get a surge of oxytocin, a hormone that propels women to seek out their friends.

In The New York Times, Gayle said about Oprah, “Who doesn’t want to be her best friend? . . . I never feel I’m in her shadow. I feel I’m in her light, that’s how I look at it.”

And inevitably sometimes I’m struck by how much I don’t want to lose them. I want to preserve this moment where I know I’m as important to them as they are to me. These relationships are as a crucial as any I have with men or blood relatives or bosses, and I want these women in my life forever.

We’re caring for each other—loudly and continuously—for no reason besides wanting to.

It’s true that some of them no longer have as much time to hang out or have interests that aren’t the same as mine, but these are shifts I accept, not ones that will decimate the friendships. What I feel when we get to be in the same place—or when we talk on the phone, text, e-mail, or instant message—is the same steady appreciation of each other. I’ve been learning from these women in my life for years, and I don’t want to stop.