Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship

by Kayleen Schaefer

“Text me when you get home” is not an aggressive rallying cry like the anti–Donald Trump, pro-woman “This pussy grabs back,” but it does mark a sea change. It’s a way women are saying, through our care for each other, that our friendships are not what society says they are. We’re reclaiming them. We’re taking them back from the shitty words they’ve been smothered by for way too long: Women can’t get along. They’re probably lesbians. Women who say they like each other are lying. What a bunch of catty bitches. Women ditch their friends when they meet a guy.

society often indicates to women that it’s not on the same level as the other relationships in our lives, such as the ones with our romantic partners, our children, or even our jobs. Devoting ourselves to finding spouses, caring for children, or snagging a promotion is acceptable, productive behavior. Spending time strengthening our friendships, on the other hand, is seen more like a diversion. For unmarried women, in particular, it can feel like choosing to focus on friends instead of dating means your preferences are misplaced.