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Had he been in a musical, he thought, right then would have been the perfect time to sing a sad song about his woeful lot in life while emphasizing his eternal optimism and plucky heart.
A turtlehog empire and unfettered access to fine cheeses: that was Toby’s dark desire.
“Everyone’s scared all the time,” he responded. “But that’s no reason not to keep on.”
“You can’t outrude rude people.
In another shop, a selection of shirts were scrawled with phrases like DEATH TO ALL HUMANS and MY OTHER CARRIAGE IS A HEARSE FULL OF YOUR BONES and I DARE YOU TO LICK ME.
As it turned out, the real world was a terrifying and ridiculous place where people with little sense made foolish rules that could ruin one’s life with the flick of a curtain.
He was simply one of the most dangerous creatures in the world: a person of small talent and large purse who was thoroughly certain that he deserved more.
Please enjoy this tiny serving of justice.”
No wonder he pooped on everyone—he expected that everyone, sooner or later, would poop on him.
