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“You’re too young to understand the pain that haunts me. Sadly, you won’t always be and that saddens me most of all.”
“You are wrong about that, adelphos! And you’d best make a sacrifice to the gods tonight that I don’t decide to one day embrace the demon all of you think lives inside me. I promise you, the day I let that beast out … you will all be running for cover.”
This world was brutal to its core and it cared nothing for them. Therefore, they cared nothing for it. Their only goal was to survive. Whatever it took. Over, under, around, or through. Those who stood behind you, you protected. Those who stood at your side were worthy allies, and anyone who stood in front of you was a target to be destroyed.
Yet still there was something inside him … something that scared him even more than his thoughts. A feeling he had that he honestly couldn’t deny. He did love her. And that would damn them both.
To know that with all the powers I have, I couldn’t go into Hades and pull my boy out and restore his life.It tore out my heart and left me this shattered shell you see before you that barely functions here in this hell. I know how bad it hurts. But there is nothing to be done.
Urian sat by Xyn’s pool, with his feet dangling in the water, seeking some form of comfort, even though there was none to be had for his vacant and damned soul. I am too young to feel this old and defeated.
“Aye, you are. Don’t lie to yourself. And don’t lie to me.”
“Just breathe, child. Life is loss. It’s harsh and it’s pain. There are days when it seeks to drive us to our knees. When we’re left asking ourselves why we shouldn’t just slit the wrist and be done with it all.”
some reason as to why I should bother finding another soul to elongate my useless life.” “I’ll tell you why, Urian. Don’t let the bastards win.” “Pardon?” “You want a reason to live? That’s one good reason, there. It pisses off your enemies. If you can’t live for those who love you, then live to spite those who hate your guts. Every breath you take is a spit in their eye. Savor it as such, knowing they begrudge you every intake that feeds your starving lungs.” He actually gave a bitter laugh at that. “Spoken like a true goddess of destruction.” “Absolutely. Sometimes it’s not a matter of being
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his personal motto that he feared no evil, for he was the most evil thing that stalked the darkness and called the deadliest night home.
“But,” Acheron continued, “we all have a choice. Toss the oar and let the current take us wherever. Or grab the oar with both hands and fight the current with everything we have. In the end, we all determine what fate we embrace. For we are either pawns or players. The final decision is always ours.”
hadn’t quelled him with his actions. He’d fueled him.
Urian snorted. “Neither, Lex. The answer to that puzzle is a lot simpler. I’m suicidal. Just don’t give a shit if he kills me or not. In the immortal words of Janis Joplin, ‘Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.’” And the one thing that Urian never talked about to anyone, not even Acheron, was the fact that his father hadn’t killed him mercifully.
“You know me, Chthonian; I don’t play well with others, and I basically hate everyone, all the time, but I would actually cross the street to have a conversation with him.… In fact, I have.”
“It’s why I’m here with your hairy ass. I don’t want to see Tory and Ash. Not because I hate him like you do, but because they remind me of what I no longer have. And while I don’t begrudge them their happiness, it makes my loneliness burn even deeper.”
“I had perfection. Anything else would be settling.”
Because right now, he still wasn’t sleeping. Some days and nights, he barely functioned.
“And I’m suicidal, boss. Fear factor really doesn’t play in with a man who doesn’t give a shit about life.
When those searing blue eyes met his, the raw anguish in them hit Ash like a groin kick. “You think you know pain? You don’t. Trust me. I lived your fucking life, remember? I know every single detail of it. And since Artemis had me locked in that hell and I saw why you hate me for no reason and for things I had no part in, it has taken everything I have to not hate you for it, and for what your mother did to me. For everything she stole from me. But if you show me a picture of your perfect, healthy son, I will not be responsible for what I do to you. And before you go Ryssa on me, and tell me
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Life was selfish and it was cold. Just like his barren soul. Why did life have to be like this? Why did the gods show you a glimpse of heaven only to rip it from your grasp the moment you dared to reach for it? There was no need of an eternal hell. Life was punishment enough. No one deserved it. Especially not the innocent babes born to this world who came in naked and
“Behold my fallow fields of the fucks I do not give.”
And while I do have more stupidity than the average man and a certain flair for theatrics, I can really do without a thorough gutting.
That was why he didn’t believe hell was real. Life was hell. It existed solely to torment the living, and death was the reward for having endured it.
“From this day forward, we are brothers, Stryker. I will never again consider you my enemy.”
