Ghosted

by J.M. Darhower

It’s loving someone enough to set them free.

“Take pity on a banged up guy?” “You want my pity?” “I want anything you’re willing to offer me.”

“I’m sorry for the way I hurt you,” he says. “Sorry for everything I did that led us to this point. And I get it, you know, if you hate me. Wouldn’t blame you at all. But I just need to tell you… I need you to know… that even when I was completely fucked up, I never once stopped loving you.”

“Jonathan,” I call out. “Your chip.” “Keep it.” “What?” “I know how I’m doing. I don’t need a token to tell me, but maybe you do, so keep it.”

I know I was

never enough for you, Jonathan, but I hope you find something that is.”

“I don’t think you should like them as a date if they don’t notice pretty dresses. ‘Cuz you can see it, but if they don’t see it, then they don’t look. And they should look at you on dates when you’re pretty.”

Being around him is proving dangerous for my feelings. Dangerous to my sanity.

You left me, Jonathan.”

“You left me, Kennedy,” I say, looking back at her, “not the other way around.”

“You have a life here. You have a family. Fuck, you have finals on Monday. You’re about to graduate and go to college. And I’m probably about to fuck up my entire life, but I love you.”

“More than anything,” you say. “More than drama club and dress rehearsals and Julius Caesar. More than annoying the shit out of Hastings. More than the goddamn park down the road. Hell, even more than I loved punching my father. I didn’t stick around here so long for any of that. I stayed for you. And if me loving you is enough—” “It is,” she says. “So come along,” you say. “Run away with me, baby.”

“I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I mourn the years they lost, the time that was wasted, the love that maybe just wasn’t quite enough to overcome his demons sooner. Every smile they share today is the product of years of tears, of years of fighting and struggling and hoping and mourning but never, ever, ever

quitting or giving up, because we’re here. And maybe it won’t last, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow something will happen and the tears will come back, but I’m grateful for the moment, knowing he loves her more than anything.

But Jack doesn’t pretend. You never did, either.” “I’m liking the sound of this guy. Is he handsome?” “He’s not your type.” “How do you know?” “He looks nothing like me.” She makes a face. “Who says I like you?” “I say you do,” I tell her. “Also, your pussy seems to be quite fond of me lately, too.”

“Never make someone else the main character in your own story.”

“He’s just an addict, and your daughter was his first high. That boy would’ve run right into traffic if she said she needed him to.”

So you don’t know this, but that girl? That beautiful little one wrapped in pink in the nursery? Her name is Madison Jacqueline Garfield, and someday, you’re going to know her. Someday, she’s going to call you her daddy. And when that happens, she’s going to steal your heart, and you’ll get that chance you asked for. But you need to be ready, Jonathan, because she’s here, and she's waiting. Don't make her wait too long before finding your way home.

Despite everything, I still believe in him.

“The best,” he says. “I’m sorry I missed the beginning.” “It’s okay.” She shrugs. “You didn’t need to see them other people, anyway.”

Jack takes her hand. “Oh, he’s mentioned you. He just failed to tell me you were so goddamn beautiful.”

“I told you before I left,” he says. “I’m here for as long as I’m wanted.” “That’s not a real answer, Jonathan.” “Why isn’t it?” “Because I’ve wanted you since I was seventeen years old. Saying that is like promising forever. I need a real answer.” He’s quiet for a moment, resting his head on top of mine before he asks, “What’s wrong with forever?” “Nothing,” I say, “as long as you mean it.” “Would you believe me if I promised it?”

“Yes,” I whisper. “That’s why I need you not to.”

“Forever.” He nods, whispering, “I promise.”

“You’re going to have to unzip the suit,” he says. “I can’t do it myself.” “Hmm, so what you’re saying is if I refuse, you’ll have no choice but to keep it on?” “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“So why would I help you?” “Because I can’t fuck you with the suit on,” he says, “and I’ve got a funny feeling you really want to be fucked right now.”

“I don’t even want to think about him being somewhere with my sister at this hour. I’d rather stay naked.” I laugh, snuggling against him, pressing a light kiss to his chest. “I love you, Jonathan.” “I love you, too.” He wraps his arms around me before whispering, “You’re the queen, baby.”

“Without a doubt,” he said. “I’m the luckiest man in the world tonight.”