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we don’t feel like you heard us, we can’t file what we just said and move on to the next point, so we’ll raise our voices and keep talking.
focus on not doing something she really wants to be doing until she finishes the thing she’s supposed to be doing.
I was in my “zone of focus.” And when I’ve got music on, and I’m working (like I’m doing now, on this flight), I tend to lose track of everything else in the world, and just work. Well, apparently I was so focused, so hardworking, and so in my zone of focus that this nice doctor across the aisle from me assumed I was high as a kite.
this was my “natural state.”
I’m a constant reinvention of myself,
the goal is to create, build, and keep myself occupied with things that work for me,
non-ADHD person may see a rug that needs vacuuming, dishes in the sink, or clothes that need to be washed as minor annoyances that can be dispensed with quickly. For me, and many others who are faster than normal, these same things can bring a potentially productive day to a screeching halt. Paralysis sets in—sometimes you can’t find the energy to clean the house, but you can’t seem to get anything done because your space is so messy.
For some reason, it’s a lot easier to find the energy to clean a friend’s house than it is to clean your own.
treats himself as a “client” and blocks out three hours a week for home housekeeping duties—laundry, et cetera—that
It’s so difficult to remove emotion from objects when they are your own. It’s because we get caught up in what we wanted to achieve with that item or what it was a symbol for.
If we reduce as much as possible and refrain from acquiring more
everywhere he sets up to work—whether it’s in his home office on the dining room table, in his business office, wherever—the piles of paper and related items ranging from remote controls to keys seem to almost magically metastasize in front of him. He’s like the stuff magnet.
A neat environment, one in which you can locate things you need,
made a conscious decision to eliminate choice. He now sticks to one brand of each of the five items he uses, and he buys replacements only when he is running out of something.
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In fact, most ADHD people are really good at this sort of improvisation. I could talk for six hours about anything, and I’ll sound good. With one caveat: if I’m not prepared physically, if I don’t feel good, if I’m not well rested, it will show. I’ll be off my game.
When I have to do something I’m not necessarily thrilled about doing, I always first figure out how I can most quickly and effectively get from point A to point B with as few exit ramps, back roads, or detours as possible.
“You must understand the art of delegation. I have to be good at helping people run the individual businesses, and I have to be willing to step back. The company must be set up so it can continue without me,”
hired a high school girl to come twice a week to do the laundry and iron shirts. The $60 it cost the family per week to have the laundry done, folded, put away, and shirts ironed helped her increase her own productivity at her home business, making it well worth the investment. Essentially the laundry service paid for itself in a matter of weeks.
Do what you do, and do it for as long as it takes, then do something else, and repeat.
Sounds simple, and it works, but we rarely do it. Instead, with ADHD, we focus on doing multiple things at the same time, whether we plan on it or
Always have something to read or work on with you at all times. Keep a book in your bag, or an e-book on your phone.
Doesn’t matter where, I just want to be back in my zone of focus.
Complaining is a waste of time.
What is the essential problem each obligation, task, job, challenge, or desire represents, and how can you solve it?
“Google has more security in place than any small business could afford to buy. So my stuff is more secure in the cloud with Google than in my office running on servers.”
make sure you put limits on what you can and can’t do. “I can play while I’m waiting for the flight to take off” is one for me. Once we’re in the air, the phone goes off, the laptop comes out, and work begins.
The nice thing about texting is that it forces you to keep your conversations short. The shorter the conversations, the less time you have to get sidetracked. In a perfect world, I’d never talk on the phone.
allows me to spend the thirty minutes during the ride looking around “at all the shiny things,” and filling my dopamine reserves until I can get to a gym.
Try to find some success stories for your child.
Sometimes when we’re excited, our brains move so fast that in our heads, we’ve already friended, best-friended, argued, broken up, and divorced you from our lives in the space of four minutes.
Don’t drag us out of “the zone.” Ever do this? You call the ADHD person in your life, and they answer with “Hey, is everything okay?” “Yeah, all is fine, I just had a question for you.” Chances are, the next thing out of the ADHDer’s mouth is going to be “Okay, can we talk later? I’m in the middle of something here.” I
“zones” are lifesavers. They allow us to work nonstop, they allow us to go from idea to paper to computer to implementation, all in a matter of minutes,
But if we’re interrupted, we’re screwed, and getting back on track becomes a process that often results in our not doing anything at all.
And even worse, we’re going to find other people to tell. And that sucks, because we’d much rather tell you.
We don’t do certain things because we know that if we do them one time, we’ll do them a thousand,
Addiction
When we’re with you on an airplane and before the flight we already know everyone on the plane, it doesn’t mean we’re not interested in you. It just means we’re interested in everything.
It’s what we go through on a daily basis, and despite our best efforts, sometimes we’re going to screw up. But
more often than not, during our commute home, we’ve gotten into some kind of hyperfocus mode, and now we’re entirely thinking about that one thing. So of course, when we walk in the door, we want to share it immediately and tell you how awesome it is!
Ask three questions.
Find ways to listen and relinquish control, no
we’re often so hyperaware of what we have to do and how to do it that our ADHD causes us to simply take over, shutting out the other person, while we’re convinced in our own minds that we’re totally doing the right thing—we’re helping!
make a weekly contract with yourself that can’t be renegotiated for a week.
being aware of our limits is an exercise in self-preservation, but finding them comes only from experience.
For large lecture courses, be that person who sits in front. It makes everyone else disappear, and makes you accountable for paying attention because the professor can actually see you.
I do this.
write and rewrite my notes several times, or listen to recorded lectures while on the elliptical.
Always keep a notebook with you. My mind moves really quickly through thoughts and ideas. If I don’t write it down, it’s gone.
if I don’t already have my outfit picked out in my head while I’m in the shower, deciding what to wear will add twenty minutes to my morning.
I wanted to just pick up and leave tomorrow, would I take this thing, or resent having to make a decision about it?
