Then She Was Gone

by Lisa Jewell

Her middle child. The difficult one. The tiring one. The one she wouldn’t want to be stranded on a desert island with. And a terrible thought shot through her, so fast she barely registered it. It should be you missing and Ellie eating beans on toast.

So parents do have favorites 🤨

“As the father of your children, as a friend, as someone who shared a journey with you and as someone who loves you and cares about you. I don’t need to be married to you to be all those things. Those things are deeper than marriage. Those things are forever.”

But she is remembering now. Cooking doesn’t just nurture the recipient; it nurtures the chef.

“Jake’s a grown man, though; if he wants to be controlled by another human being, I guess that’s his lookout.”

I remember being twenty-one and thinking that my personality was a solid thing, that me was set in stone, that I would always feel what I felt and believe what I believed. But now I know that me is fluid and shape-changing.