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December 31, 2018 - January 6, 2019
Your Best Year Ever is based on five key assumptions. First, real life is multifaceted.
Second, every domain matters.
Third, progress starts only when you get clear on where you are right now.
you can improve any life domain.
the fifth and final assumption: confidence, happiness, and life satisfaction are byproducts of personal growth.
our habits of thinking are beneficial, we tend to experience positive results, such as happiness, personal satisfaction, even material success. If our habits of thinking are counterproductive, however, we often experience the opposite: unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and the nagging feeling that the deck is somehow stacked against us.
Because our expectations shape what we believe is possible, they shape our perceptions and actions. That means they also shape the outcomes. And that means they shape our reality.
One of the biggest reasons we don’t succeed with our goals is we doubt we can.
The first key difference between an unmet goal and personal success is the belief that it can be achieved.
To accomplish anything, we have to believe we’re up to the challenge.
Black-and-white thinking. That’s when we assume we’ve failed if we don’t achieve perfection. Reality is usually a sliding scale, not a toggle switch. Personalizing. That’s when we blame ourselves for random negative occurrences. Catastrophizing. That’s when we assume the worst even with little evidence.2 To that list we can add a fourth: Universalizing. That’s when we take a bad experience and assume it’s true across the board. Where do these beliefs come from?
Resources are never—and I mean never—the main challenge in achieving our dreams. In fact, if you already have everything you need to achieve your goal, then your goal’s probably too small.
“The point of regret is not to try to change the past, but to shed light on the present.”
Because failing feels like losing, we’re tempted to set small goals we can easily reach in the name of being “realistic.” We’re also likely to slack off once we’ve reached those small goals.
The main thing to watch is your bandwidth. I recommend setting seven to ten goals per year—but only two or three major deadlines per quarter. Any more than that and your focus will suffer along with your results.
summarize, SMARTER goals are specific, measurable, actionable, risky, time-keyed, exciting, and relevant.
“Spend 20 minutes a day in Bible reading and prayer, 5 days a week at 6:00 a.m., beginning January 1, and do it for 70 days in a row.” Or let’s say you want to develop more intimacy with your spouse. You could set a habit goal like this: “Take my spouse out for dinner and an evening of conversation, once per week, on Friday nights at 6:00 p.m., beginning March 1, and do it for 52 weeks straight.”
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The Chicago architect Daniel Burnham said it this way in 1907: “Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably will not themselves be realized. Make big plans, aim high in hope and work.”
you can easily imagine completing the challenge—it’s probably not challenging enough to be compelling.
SMARTER framework for writing powerful, effective goals. It’s critical to make them specific, measurable, actionable, a little bit risky, time-keyed, exciting, and relevant to your actual circumstances.
We’re energized by that surge of excitement that comes from novelty and our own creativity. But that surge is like starter fluid; it’s not the fuel that will see us through the journey.
I’ve written several books now, and the way I do it is almost always the same. I start with the easiest task first. I write the title page, the dedication, and the table of contents. Then I think through the chapters, pick the easiest chapter, and tackle it first. A book feels daunting. But one chapter is doable, especially if it’s the easiest one. When I launch a new product, create a new course, or undertake any major goal, I operate the same way.
If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
More recently I discovered I was using a version of what goal achievement researchers call implementation intentions. I call them Activation TriggersTM. These are simple statements or actions that streamline the process of reaching our goals. How? By anticipating whatever contingencies or obstacles we might face, we can cue a desired response. Instead of relying on our decision making in the moment (when our mental and emotional resources might be at their lowest), Activation Triggers lock in our decisions in advance.
And I don’t let that list get complicated or lengthy. As I teach in Free to Focus, I limit my tasks to what I call my Daily Big 3. So I never have more than three significant tasks to complete in any one day. But those three tasks are chosen specifically to help me achieve my goals. A lot of people start out their day with ten or twenty tasks for the day.
In the quarterly review process, at least five options are possible: Rejoice Recommit Revise Remove Replace
A regular mistake people make at this stage is getting married to their strategy. Don’t conflate goals and strategies. Your goal is the what, your strategy is the how. There’s nothing sacred about your strategy.
When I can’t recommit, and I don’t want to revise, the fourth option is removal. Grab an eraser. Hit delete. Don’t let that shock you. It’s a last resort but sometimes necessary. I’m all for achieving our goals. But the “Sabbath was made for man,” not the other way around. This is your game. I never met the goal police, but I’m certain they don’t show up when you strike a goal off your list. If a goal is no longer relevant, if it’s no longer compelling, if you’ve tried to revise it and you can’t, remove it. If you don’t, the goal will just sit there and accuse you.
