When I first heard about the program and the idea of abstinence was explained I thought both ‘fuck that’ and a kind of low resonant thud of acceptance that abstinence would be my path. One of the many paradoxes of the spiritual life I encountered here lies in the trite maxim ‘one day at a time’, as in ‘just try not to drink today’, ‘try not to eat unhealthily today’ and ‘try not to act out sexually today’. I knew they meant ‘you can’t ever drink again’, ‘no more chocolate. Ever’ and ‘you are now celibate’. ‘Your ballroom days are over baby.’ And they do mean that.
