I Temporarily Do (Cordially Invited #1)

by Ellie Cahill

“That is disgusting.” “Earthy,” I supplied. “I feel like I just licked the sidewalk.”

Lol

when your life is full of question marks, sometimes it’s just easier to sink your teeth into something that you can completely control.

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we did what any twenty-two-year-olds with no real life experience would do: Nothing. We just left.

Wtf? Lol

“You okay?” he asked. “Fine,” I wheezed. “Good.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “Because you know if you die, they’ll definitely blame me. They always look at the husband first.” “I’d like to point out that this would have actually been your fault.” “I would tell the jury that you were threatening me with dangling spit and they would dismiss the charges immediately.” “Shut up.” I planted one foot on his back and gave him a shove. “And they’d award me the bed as compensation for my pain and suffering.” “You wouldn’t even give me the bed if you killed me?” “You’d be dead! What would you use it for?” “My final resting place.” I closed my eyes, and folded my hands over my chest, my toes stuck stiffly into the air.

Lmfao

“You realize this is crazy, right? My wife is pissed off at me that I can’t get my wedding ring off so she can hook me up with another girl.”

Lol

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” he said softly.

Aw…

“Of all my fake husbands, you’re probably the best,” I said. He laughed, and stroked one finger along the side of my thumb. “You’re in my top ten wives, for sure.”

Lol

“I think maybe we were supposed to be friends…” he swallowed, “first.”

Definitely friends first then lovers next. Hohoooooo

Someday, men will learn that telling a girl not to cry is basically an instruction to do the opposite.

“It’s too short to waste on people who don’t give as much as they get. And it’s way too short to waste on not going after what you want because you’re scared.”

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I’m here for you, no matter what. You say the word, and I’ll be there as soon as a plane can get me there. And if anyone ever hurts you, I’ll kill him. No questions asked.” I couldn’t help laughing. “You’ve been spending too much time with bikers. You’re a computer geek, remember?” “Well, then I’ll hack his computer and ruin his life—or her life.” He paused, finger raised. “Whatever you’re into.”

Lol

“No, fuck it. I’m done dancing around this. Emmy, I’m in love with you.”