I Temporarily Do (Cordially Invited #1)

by Ellie Cahill

This was my tribe. My college support system, and we were all going our separate ways in just a few days!

He took my hand out of my lap, weaving our fingers together letting our hands rest on his thigh. The act made my heart jitter with guilty nerves. Like the woman would somehow see through us and intuit that we were attempting to scam the housing department of a small university in Iowa.

I’d never held hands with him like this and I was surprised that he kept stroking his thumb over mine. It was sweet, and probably an unconscious bit of muscle memory from Emily.

“Whatever you say, wifey.” “Stop that.” “Yes, dear.” I gave him dagger eyes, but he just grinned.

So we did what any twenty-two-year-olds with no real life experience would do: Nothing. We just left.

“This ring is called a Semi-Eternity ring!” He got it right away and let out a bark of laughter. The employees looked at us like we’d lost our minds, but we could not stop laughing. I could not think of anything more perfect for our fake marriage than a semi-eternity ring.

“You okay?” he asked. “Fine,” I wheezed. “Good.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “Because you know if you die, they’ll definitely blame me. They always look at the husband first.”

“Jerk!” I shouted. “We’ll take turns,” he called back. “So when’s it my turn?” “I’ll let you know.”

“You realize this is crazy, right? My wife is pissed off at me that I can’t get my wedding ring off so she can hook me up with another girl.”

“I’m not leaving you, Mrs. Anderson.” “I’m not an Anderson.” “We can’t all be perfect.”

Except this time I saw myself rolling toward Beckett and kissing him. As though it wouldn’t shock him. As if he might cup my neck and pull me closer and kiss me back.

After god knew how long, I felt a new, cold hand on my back, and then Claudia was transferring me to Beckett's arms. He held me in a tight hug, rocking me. “It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” he said softly.

So instead I fell asleep with his hand clasped in mine.

“I think maybe we were supposed to be friends…” he swallowed, “first.”

Yeah, he was one of the good ones. I could see it. He was kind, caring, patient, fun, smart. And he was only going to be mine for a little longer. Not that he was really mine at all. But soon enough he’d be a free agent again. Theoretically, Reina could have not just a man like Beckett, she could have Beckett himself. The thought made my throat ache.

He stood and crossed the room in three strides before he captured my face in his hands and kissed me. And it wasn’t the dry, chaste kiss from our wedding, or the over-the-top kisses for show at the barbecue from the day we moved in; it was a breath-stealing, toe-curling, stomach-dropping kiss.

“You know what this means, right?” I said. “What?” “Now we have to get married.” It was a dangerous joke to make, but if I knew Beckett… He burst out laughing.

Someday, men will learn that telling a girl not to cry is basically an instruction to do the opposite.

“It’s too short to waste on people who don’t give as much as they get. And it’s way too short to waste on not going after what you want because you’re scared.”

“No, fuck it. I’m done dancing around this. Emmy, I’m in love with you.”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry if that’s too fucking much for you right now, but I didn’t tell you how I felt when we met, and I didn’t tell you how I felt when we got married, or when we fucking slept together, for god’s sake, and that’s just bullshit. I’m in fucking love with you, and I want to be with you, and you make me really god damn happy, and if it’s just me, then I guess that’s gonna have to be how it is, because I can’t change it, and I’m really fucking tired of hiding it. I’m in love with you, okay?”