This Is Me

by Chrissy Metz

Our true happiness is inside of us. Like me, everything you need to fly—to soar—has been inside you all along. Just as you are, you’re enough.

Because confidence is really trust in yourself, right? It has nothing to do with what someone else thinks of you; it’s what you think of you.

There is something that happens when you are grateful. You continue to receive blessings.

You have to be the one to decide what it is you want to give. It isn’t always about money. It’s your energy, it’s your time, and it’s your love. Those of us who are fortunate have to set boundaries, because others will imagine what you can give them and hold you accountable for that. Until their imagined need becomes a debt you owe them.

“We all have a purpose,” she said. “Some people are the tall oak trees, and some people are the beautiful bushes. But everyone has a purpose. There is nobody here on earth who doesn’t have a path or a purpose. An innate destiny. Every human being who comes, comes called.”

I know firsthand that it’s never too late for you and it doesn’t matter what you look like. The universe responds when you really pursue your heart’s desire.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. I’ll wait. No, seriously. I am not leaving you alone on this page without you taking a moment to put a request out there. It can be hard to say what we really want. A lot of us, myself included, did not grow up with positive reinforcement. We were not told we could be or do anything we wanted, even if our wish was just to be happy. Whatever you’ve brought with you to this book, you can’t allow those experiences, even traumas, to define you or limit you. And maybe you are afraid that if you say what you want, someone will hear you. You fear the judgment of a loved one, or worry that your growth might be a threat to that person. My advice is to give people the opportunity to surprise you, and to grow with you as you become the person you want to be.

When you are confident in your abilities, it lets other people feel confident in theirs too. Sometimes we have to teach each other.” I know I am still unlearning everything I was taught as a kid. When I was down, people told me that was where I would stay. But when you are so far down, the only way to go is up.

As I turned, I thought how much I had loved this man-boy. How I had pinned all of my dreams on him. Maybe he’s not the one that got away, I thought. Maybe I am.

There was one that I particularly loved because it was a favorite of my grandmother, “On Eagle’s Wings.” It’s a hymn that reworks the 91st Psalm, which is basically a “You’ve got this” pep talk.

I feel like me and Chrissy would have been besties if we knew each other. This was my absolute favorite church song when I used to go.

We had a Slam Book, which we passed to each other in class. If you didn’t have one—well, you missed out! It is a spiral-bound notebook that friends pass to each other instead of notes on pieces of paper.

The secrets those notebooks held. My generation seriously put our lives on the line by writing everything in this single notebook. Our lives would have been ruined if anyone else got a hold of it.

know now that at our core, we are all these perfect beings. But many of us are not taught this. Instead we are told, “You’re not smart enough.” Or, “You’re not pretty enough.” “You don’t deserve the happiness you want.” What I have learned is that hurt people hurt people. I have the honor of meeting a lot of people these days, and when we go deep as we share, I see how that truth, hurt people hurt people, resonates.

I was not taught anything positive in life. It was always negative. I come to realize that I held on to my mother’s negative mindset. I am trying to let that go.

There have been times I’ve regretted not raising my hand to speak up about something, but I have never regretted advocating for myself or someone I care about.

If your initial response when you think about your dream is “No, I can’t. I’m too scared of what might happen,” that means you are afraid to fail. And if you are being honest with yourself, you might even admit you’re also afraid of success. But whether it’s the fear of success or of failure doesn’t really matter. I think what it boils down to is that people are afraid of change.

Oh, now I have to tell everybody that we’re getting separated. But then I realized that it didn’t matter. Real failure would be staying in a relationship that made us miserable.

When you are discovering who you are at a core level, you are dodging all the bullets anyway. If I can leave you with one thing, it’s that you don’t need to call him back or pick up your phone. Because you don’t need a man.

I keep a Marianne Williamson quote in my heart. C’mon, quote! “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” That always got me. We are not taught that we are limitless and fantastic just the way we are. We are told, “You’re not enough,” and “You’re too much of this.” Being who you are is enough. You don’t have to become a success, because you already are one. Let go of your fear and dare to be your greatest, truest self. Because the world needs you.

Again, what people think about you is none of your business. You do what makes you happy, and you can’t control how it makes other people feel. It’s your life. Why would you live for anybody else? The whole point of us being here is to be ourselves.

If you can’t love yourself for who you are right now, you’ll never get to the place you’re meant to be.

Here’s an actor secret—we just use what’s happening. That’s the only thing you can do because the more you resist, the more the fear persists. Whatever you’re feeling, lean in and use it.

You’re worthy of time, attention, and love. It might not be easy to accept it right now, but act as if it is. And soon, it will be.