The Motivation Myth: How High Achievers Really Set Themselves Up to Win

by Jeff Haden

It’s easy to recognize and praise the best employees, because they’re consistently doing awesome things. (Maybe consistent recognition is a reason they’re the best employees? Something to think about.)

Every job should have the potential to lead to greater things. Whenever you can, whether you’re a boss or not, help other employees gain skills or experience that will help them land the job they someday hope to land, even if that job is with another company.

If I made eye contact with someone, I had to compliment them in some way. To make sure I never chickened out, I had to actively try to make eye contact. I couldn’t intentionally look away. But I didn’t have to compliment people who were already having a conversation or on the phone or wearing headphones. (I didn’t want to be rude.) And I couldn’t hide away all day. I had to go out into the world at least four times.

Still, I decided to try one more time, but with a twist. I decided to ask for help, because asking for help is implicitly complimentary. If I ask you for help, I’m saying you know something I don’t know or you can do something I can’t do. Asking for help is like saying, “I respect your (knowledge/skill/experience).”

For example, Stephen King writes two thousand words a day and, as he says in his book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, “only

It doesn’t matter whom you admire. It doesn’t matter whom you look to for inspiration; you’re seeking more of a blueprint for success. Whom you choose is important only in that their approach to success will help you achieve your goals.

Then pick a specific skill, quality, or attribute, and do something the way that person would do it. It won’t be comfortable. It won’t feel natural. But it will stretch you and take you to places you otherwise never would have gone.

That’s why there are coaches . . . and there are pros. Coaches think about making the process fun and uplifting. Pros show you how to succeed—and expect you to take full responsibility for your own success.

Say you join an industry organization. Show up for every meeting. Contribute in small ways but otherwise lie low. Show that you recognize you’re new. Show that you don’t expect to be taken seriously until you prove you’re serious—and are in it for the long haul.

Hint: Just find ways to make their lives easier. Volunteer for the grunt work. Volunteer for the glory-free tasks. Volunteer to pay your dues.

Ask for Help That Requires Only Words

Very few people offer help before they have been asked, even though most of the time that is when a little help will make the greatest impact.

Reach the point at which you feel confident helping others fit in and that’s when you truly fit in—because then it’s no longer about you: It’s about the group and the people in that group.

Start comparing your present self—regardless of how far you think you have already come—with what is actually possible.

you’re struggling to manage your time effectively, Clive’s is the perfect approach. Decide what is important to you and then structure your life—and your process—to ensure you accomplish the things that really matter.

“The key to my perseverance was absolutely loving the craft of acting,” she said. “I just figured that if I kept doing it, at the very least I would get better at acting. Even if I didn’t become a tremendous success, so long as I knew I was improving and getting better, to me, that was success. Feeling successful is internal, not external.

Spend all the time you can working on the area that drives real value for your business. That’s how you’ll stand out. That’s what you should do best—and do more of.

Train, explain, trust . . . and remove yourself from processes where you don’t belong.

Set guidelines and then allow your kids to make decisions within those parameters. They’ll learn to be more responsible and independent, and you’ll regain all that time you spend (fruitlessly) micromanaging their lives.

Exercise does more to bolster thinking than thinking does; walking just forty minutes three days a week builds new brain cells and improves your memory function.

Small improvements add up to a major overall improvement. Ever so slightly streamline your morning routine, the way you handle e-mail, the way you handle voice mail, the way you schedule appointments . . . and soon you can free up thirty minutes of your day so you can (you guessed it) do more of what you do best.

Asking for help shows other people that you respect and trust them.

People who work to build a successful marriage sometimes see the good in their partner before that person sees it in themself—and that can provide the spark that just might help their partner reach their true potential.

You take a task, break it down into its component parts, strip away what is unnecessary, and optimize what is necessary.

The key to the 1 percent advantage lies in determining what you want to accomplish and how you work best—and then making small improvements that let you incrementally improve your focus, your process, and your rate of success.