I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

by Michael S. Sorensen

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

More often than not, people who vent or complain already know how to handle their current situation—they’re just looking for someone to see and appreciate their struggle. While it seems almost counterintuitive, validation is often the quickest and easiest way to help people work through their concerns and get back on track.

“Wow, that would be confusing.” “He really said that? I’d be angry too!” “Ah, that is so sad.” “I totally get why you feel that way; I’ve been in a similar situation before and it was rough.” “You have every right to be proud; that was a major accomplishment!” “I’m so happy for you! You’ve worked incredibly hard on this. It must feel amazing.” Notice again how each of these responses refers to a specific emotion and shows some justification for or acceptance of it. Including both elements of validation shows the other person that you not only hear them, you understand them.