High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way

by Brendon Burchard

real traps are internal—negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that slowly kill our humanity, zest, and well-being. The traps are superiority, dissatisfaction, and neglect.

When we’re facing any of these difficulties, it’s easy to feel that we’re the only one going through the struggle. But that feeling is pure illusion. There is no human emotion or situation you are contending with that someone, somewhere, cannot understand if you are vulnerable and real and open enough to share your thoughts, feelings, and challenges.

Their lack of understanding only grows in your silence.

Don’t judge others as below you or separate from you.

Superior-minded people are certain they are better, more capable, more deserving.

So what’s the solution? I’ve found that the first step is always awareness. You have to be alert and catch yourself when you start thinking you are separate from others for any reason. Second, you need to develop habits that will help you stay humble and open even as you get better at what you do. Humility is a foundational virtue that enables many other virtues to grow.

They didn’t all say they began thinking they were separate from or better than others. The issue for them was that other people started viewing them as acting superior. The high performers got so good, they simply disengaged from others because they truly didn’t think they needed help.

High performers are, in fact, happier than most people. They feel satisfied and well rewarded in their careers, and they cultivate experiences that are more positive than negative, with joy often at the heart of their endeavors.

Satisfaction must accompany striving for optimal performance.7 Those who are never satisfied are never at peace.

Dissatisfaction is disconnection,

causes them to obsess about the negative, leading in turn to a habit of missing what’s working, and failing to praise or appreciate others.

It’s easy to be dissatisfied, because noticing what’s wrong in a situation is a habit of evolution.

Being satisfied, then, doesn’t mean “settling.” It simply means accepting and taking pleasure in what is.

allowing yourself to feel contentment whether or not a thing is complete or “perfect.”

Play is not indulgent; it’s crucial to creativity, health, healing, and happiness.17 Flow and play are gateways to mastery. So don’t fret. You won’t lose passion by feeling better.

Life is short, so decide to enjoy it.

Often, then, it’s not what you do that unseats you from high performance, but what you don’t do. In single-minded pursuit of achievement and mastery in one area of life, you take your eyes off the other areas. Soon, those areas fight back for more attention.

Obliviousness is the less used excuse of the two, but a destructive culprit nonetheless. It means you are so focused in one area that you are completely unaware of the growing problems in another.

overreaching was a problem that stemmed from an insatiable desire for more, coupled with an unrealistic sense of what is possible in a short time frame, which led to overcommitment. In other words, it was an issue of going for too much, too fast, in too many domains.

Slow down, be more strategic, and say no more often.

“Sometimes, we’re so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up.” —James Dobson

One last simple reminder: Don’t forget the positive habits that brought you to this level of success, and do not neglect the habits that you now know will take you to the next level.

The culprits that steal your success are not lack of values or intelligence. The culprits are ultimately allocations of attention. You feel separate from others, so you stop paying attention to feedback, diverse viewpoints, new ways of doing things. You get so good that you start noticing only what’s wrong, and a constant state of disappointment drains your passion. You rationalize neglecting one area of life so you can get ahead, saying it will be “worth it,” so you stop focusing on what really matters in life.

I’m confident I can achieve my goals despite challenges or resistance.

When someone is more confident, they consistently have greater clarity, energy, productivity, influence, necessity, and courage.1

individuals who have high confidence also tend to have higher life happiness overall, a love for taking on new challenges, and a feeling of making a difference in the world.

the more confident you are, the less likely you are to feel burnout from work.4

The more you believe in your ability to perform well, the more likely you are to do things that protect, restore, and improve your health.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” —Samuel Johnson

high performers simply thought about things that gave them more confidence than others, more often did things that gave them more confidence than others, and avoided things that drain confidence more often than others did.

DEVELOP COMPETENCE

the kind of confidence that is most tied to performance improvement comes from belief in one’s abilities in a specific task.6 This means that the more knowledge, skill, ability, or talent—that is, competence—you have at a given task, the more likely you are to be confident and perform well.

High performers have confidence not only because of past skill acquired in a specific area, but equally from trust in their ability to gain future competence.

“I believe in my ability to figure things out.”

BE CONGRUENT

They shaped their identity by conscious will and have aligned their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to support that identity.

high performers no longer feel as if they were “faking it to make it.”

Confidence comes from being truthful with yourself and others. You have to avoid the little lies that can easily tear at the fabric of your character. If you lie about the small things, you will cause a catastrophe when faced with the big things. Your heart and soul want to know you’ve lived an honest life. If you break that trust, you risk feeling incongruent and ruining your performance. Stand in your truth and tell the truth, and you’ll feel congruent.

ENJOY CONNECTING

high performers have learned the tremendous value in relating with others. They’ve discovered that it is by connecting with others that they learn more about themselves and the world.

What drove the development for high performers in each of these areas was curiosity. It was curiosity that developed their knowledge, skills, and abilities. Curiosity drove their self-examination.

Curiosity x (Competence + Congruence + Connection) = Confidence

promise of this equation is that you don’t have to pretend to be superhuman. You just have to care enough to learn new things, to live in alignment with who you want to become, to take interest in others. You’ll feel better about yourself, and research shows that curiosity itself can improve your well-being.

ease is not the objective in personal development; growth is. So anticipate and honor the fact that it’s going to be difficult to implement the habits and practices in this book.

Seek clarity on who you want to be, how you want to interact with others, and what will bring meaning into your life.

Generate energy so you can sustain focus, effort, and well-being. To stay on your A game, you’ll need to care actively for your mental stamina, physical energy, and positive emotions.

Raise the necessity of your level of performance. This means actively tapping into the reasons you must perform well, based on a mix of your internal standards (e.g., your identity, beliefs, values, or expectations for excellence) and external de...

Increase productivity in your primary field of interest. Specifically, you’ll need to focus on “prolific quality output” (PQO) in the area in which you want to be known and to drive impact. You’ll also have to minimize distractions (...

Develop influence with those around you so you can get them to believe in and support your efforts and ambitions. Without a positive support network, major achieveme...

Demonstrate courage by expressing your ideas, taking bold action, and standing up for yourself and others even in the face of fear,...