“I’ve never actually”—I waved my hands unhelpfully—“used cocaine before.” “Are you sure? Because you’ve got the lingo down.” “Oh, shut up. And also there’s the nose issue.” She gave me one of her slow, contemptuous blinks. “The nose issue?” “Yes. The nose issue. I don’t want to put things up my nose. My nose is a one-way street.” “You know that’s what fundamentalists say about anal sex.”
