Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life (Unfu*k Yourself series)

by Gary John Bishop

In simple terms, the language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience, and participate in them and dramatically affects how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small.

self-talk can not only put us in a bad mood, it can leave us feeling helpless. It can make small problems seem bigger—and even create problems where none existed before. Here’s the breaking news: your self-talk is fucking you over and in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.

This book will require you to seek the answer, not out there, but inside of yourself. It’s not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer. As I’ve said to my clients many, many times, people spend their lives waiting for the cavalry, all the while never realizing they are the cavalry. Your life is waiting on you to finally show up.

The best part is, we direct our thoughts in a way that consciously modifies these pathways for ourselves. And the easiest way to shape those thoughts is through conscious, decisive self-talk. The kind of talk that “cuts through” and takes control of your life.

How we talk, think about, and therefore perceive our surroundings is the very foundation for our reality.

The dictionary describes willingness as “the quality or state of being prepared: Readiness.” In other words, willingness is a state in which we can engage with life and see a situation from a new perspective. It starts with you and ends with you. No one can make you willing, and you cannot move forward until you really are willing to make the next move.

Every time you add the “but” to the end of that statement, you turn yourself into the victim.

Either you control your destiny, or your destiny will control you. Life won’t stop for your pauses and procrastinations. It won’t stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. Whether you play an active part or not, the show will go on.