Of course you might well be dealing with something much bigger than these examples but even when you ramp it up, the same model works exceptionally well. Let’s say you have been holding on to a dark secret. Maybe you’re ashamed or guilty or resentful. Perhaps this is something that could change your life in a significant way. “Am I willing to tell the truth to that person I’ve been lying to?” When you frame it this way, coming clean becomes an occasion to talk, listen, and then deal with the consequences. You might be dreading it but you can do it. It’s not the task that’s important, it’s the
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