Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life (Unfu*k Yourself series)

by Gary John Bishop

In simple terms, the language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience, and participate in them and dramatically affects how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small.

Negative self-talk can not only put us in a bad mood, it can leave us feeling helpless. It can make small problems seem bigger—and even create problems where none existed before.

The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.

think about the daily chores you dread the most, all because you’ve built them up in your mind to be something worse than they really are.

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” - Marcus Aurelius

How willing are you to consider that your life is the way it is, not because of the weight of your circumstances or situation, but rather the weight of self-talk that pulls you down? That what you think you can and cannot do is influenced much more directly by some subconscious response than by the reality of life itself?!

Assertive self-talk is when you stake a claim for this moment of time, right here and now. When you start to talk in terms of “I am . . .” or “I embrace . . .” or “I accept . . .” or “I assert . . . ,” all of which are powerful and commanding uses of language rather than the narrative of “I will . . .” or “I’m going to . . .”

If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation—in other words, if you’re willing to put up with your situation—then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen.

you must first accept that while there are things that have happened in your life that you had no say in, you are 100 percent responsible for what you do with your life in the aftermath of those events. Always, every time, no excuses.

Willingness to change, willingness to let go, willingness to accept. Real, magical, inspired willingness.

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” - Epictetus

the subconscious desire to prove that their parents did a bad job raising them.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. Therefore, guard accordingly, and take that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” - Marcus Aurelius

“If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.”

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” - Aristotle

“That’s one of the peculiar things about bad moods—we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.” - David D. Burns

our aversion to risk, which was once necessary, no longer is.

“The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.” - Tacitus

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt

“All I know,” Socrates once said, “is that I know nothing.”

“If you want to win, you have to be willing to be judged by others.”

“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” - Epictetus

“Change your thoughts, change your life.”

“Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Doing gets you doing what you need to do, of course. But it is, ironically, also the quickest way to change your thoughts.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie

“Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” - Benjamin Disraeli

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” - Aristotle

“We would accomplish more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” - Vince Lombardi

“This is all great and good, Mr. Scottish-man, but how in the hell do I uncover my hidden expectations?”

Easy. Pick an area of your life in which things aren’t going as well as you’d like them to, maybe even somewhere in your life that sucks right now. Take a pen and piece of paper and write out how that area was “supposed” to turn out. How had you planned it?

Next, on a separate piece of paper, write down how this area actually looks. Again, make this an exhaustive description, not just “it sucks.” Get into detail about why it is the way it is and what you now have to deal with. How do you feel now that this part of your life did not meet your expectations?

“No man ever steps in the same river twice . . .” - Heraclitus

“No man is free who is not master of himself.” - Epictetus

“Don’t seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and all will be well with you.” - Epictetus

“I am willing.” “I am wired to win.” “I got this.” “I embrace the uncertainty.” “I am not my thoughts; I am what I do.” “I am relentless.” “I expect nothing and accept everything.”

“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life—and only then will I be free to become myself.” - Martin Heidegger

TWO STEPS TO FREEDOM

1. Stop doing what you’re currently doing.

2. Start taking the actions to propel you forward.

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” - Carl Jung

join my i365 program, a twelve-month journey of personal expansion and power. It’s on my website and you can participate for less than the cost

of a daily cup of coffee. Like I said, NO EXCUSES!

“Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop thinking and go in.” - Napoleon Bonaparte

“This isn’t just about seizing the day; this is about seizing the moment, the hour, the week, the month.”