I have found that parents are far better able to sustain a growth-producing attitude toward their children if, instead of seeking new answers and methods, it is the question that is reframed. Instead of trying to mobilize their empathy by showing them what child-rearing techniques will “benefit” their children, I have tried to challenge an immune (that is, self-defined) response in them by demonstrating how their children are viruses that are taking over their host, or even malignant cells that are destroying their “colony.” In order to adopt this perspective, however, parents must be able to
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