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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Paul Hellman
Read between
June 4 - June 5, 2023
The premise of this book is that people’s attention spans are ridiculously short, that sometimes all you get is a moment, and that these moments count.
The challenge is always the same: how to get heard, get remembered, and get results. I’ve developed three strategies. They work. 1. Focus 2. Variety 3. Presence
How do you design a message that gets heard, gets remembered, and gets results? One solution: say less.
Sometimes, when providing information, you and I fall in love with the details, as if they were our children. We want everyone to know all about them.
Here’s something different: Tell them what you’re NOT going to tell them.
In one-to-one conversations, talk less than the other person. Instead of rambling on and on, ask at least one thought-provoking question per conversation.
In meetings, speak in 30–60 second bites. Provide the headline news first, with details later, and only give details if asked. You’ll be surprised by how much you can say in 30 seconds.
When presenting, slim down to 10 PowerPoint slides or less. And occasionally, lose the entire deck
Stress-test a risky disclosure with two questions about your audience: 1. Upside: What does your audience gain by knowing? 2. Downside: How likely are they to want to jump off the plane?
1. Why should I listen (or read this)? 2. What exactly are you saying? 3. What should I do with this info?
Fast-focus with a purpose statement. A purpose statement is like a present. You immediately hook people with something they value. It’s a great way to start a meeting, phone call, or email.
What does your audience need? Once you’ve figured that out, tell your audience. A strong purpose statement says what you’re going to talk about and, more importantly, why. Why is the value, from the audience’s perspective. Why answers the audience’s question: “Why should we listen?”
To figure out your purpose statement, take a few minutes to stop being you. Be the audience. What are their concerns?
What If There’s No Real Benefit? Tell Your Audience the Cost of Not Listening
What’s your audience thinking about? Let’s assume they’re preoccupied with 10,000 things. That’s 10,000 reasons not to listen to you. Unless you give them one. So give them one, with a purpose statement.
Before you tell them the what, tell them the why. That’s the purpose of a purpose.
Your purpose needs to speak to their concerns.
You need to figure out what’s most important, the main message, versus what’s secondary, the key points.
Time: Chronological—For example, what to do before, during, and after your next job interview.
Time: Today, yesterday, tomorrow—For example, our problem right now (today); how it began (yesterday); what we’re going to do (tomorrow).
Space: Large to small (or vice versa)—For example, here’s the forecast for the global economy, the U.S. economy, and our personal bank account.
With feedback, your main message needs to be specific, otherwise it’s likely to be misunderstood.
The next time you’re speaking (or writing) to senior executives, begin at the end.
An accomplishment needs three things: obstacles, skillful action, results. In other words, you take action, overcome obstacles, and get results. By that measure, none of the list items definitely makes the cut.
To make your accomplishments work, tell their story. But stay focused—use the acronym SOAR.
S is the Situation; here’s where you describe the context. OAR refers to that trio we discussed previously: Obstacles, Action, and Results. These three pull your accomplishment along.
“When X happens, I feel Y, because of Z.” X is the problem; Y, your reaction; Z, the business impact.
Head: What do you want your audience to think? To influence thinking, provide facts and data. Use logic. Ask thought-provoking questions.
Heart: What do you want others to feel? To influence feeling, tell compelling stories. Ask others to imagine a vivid scene. Disclose how you feel.
Hands: What do you want others to do? To influence doing, model the desired behavior, or show what not to do. Encourage practice. Call for action.
The next time you talk to someone about a problem, don’t be too fast to offer, or insist on, your solution. While it’s good to have some suggestions in mind, try letting the other person go first.
Announce when: • The matter is nonnegotiable (due to laws, safety concerns, company policies, etc.). • It’s an emergency—there’s no time to discuss. • You have expertise, others don’t.
Discuss when: • You need the buy-in of others. • The matter is more important to others than to you. • Others have as much knowledge and experience as you do. Or their complete lack of experience gives them a fresh perspective. And you have more than two options.
When you ask a skillful question, you raise the IQ of the room, and you stand out—it’s another 8-second moment.
The downside of advice? It robs others of the chance to develop judgment.
“What would an ideal day at work look like for you?” Or, “Tell me about one of your best days here.” And then, “How can we create more of those?”
Before asking anything, say why you’re asking.
Before you ask a tough question, reduce the fear. Say why you’re asking.
Sometimes people get tired of best practices. When that happens, flip the question and ask about the worst.
Customer Service: “What are the 20 best ways to completely alienate our top clients?” This question is frightening—you may already be doing a few.
Whether you’re interviewing a job applicant, meeting a client, or coaching an employee, figure out what you really need to learn, and then how to ask.
What others know about you is based on their observations of your behavior, and then their inferences or guesses about what that behavior means. Presence is really just an inference, made by others based on how you act.
We’re talking about “acting as if,” a powerful idea first promoted by William James (often called “the father of American psychology”), then later popularized as “fake it till you make it.”
What is it about you and your presence that makes others listen, or not listen?
Your image: 1. Nonverbals: Projects confidence with voice and body language.
Optics: Attends to physical appearance, office appearance, social media appearance, as well as language and behavior in formal and informal settings to set high standards.
Your drive: 3. Focus: Stays focused at meetings and at work on what’s most important. Is fully present. Gives the right amount of detail to the right audiences.
Energy: Projects physical, emotional, and mental energy (physical means you’re animated; emotional, you care; mental, you’re alert). Sustains energy over time.
Initiative: Offers ideas and suggestions to continuously improve and innovate. Experiments with new approaches, takes calculated risks. Is proactive.
Commitment: Makes and keeps commitments. Takes responsibility for getting things done. Stays true to one’s values. Persists, persists, persists.
