You've Got 8 Seconds: Communication Secrets for a Distracted World

by Paul Hellman

Your temperament: 7. Humility: Admits and learns from mistakes. Seeks and values others’ ideas and involvement. Listens with respect. Shares credit.

Command: Takes the lead. Speaks up. Asserts oneself skillfully, without either aggression or undue concern for being liked or agreed with.

Optimism: Takes a positive approach to problems and tasks. Imagines and communicates a positive, credible future state.

Composure: Demonstrates calm under pressure. Handles stressful situations well. Thinks on one’s feet, improvises. Uses humor appropriately.

A mantra is a word or phrase you tell yourself, silently, to evoke a desired quality such as confidence, or energy, or calm.

“What sorts of problems do you expect to be consulted on, and which ones do you expect me to handle?”

The fastest way to build trust is to make promises, then keep them. And the fastest way to destroy trust is to do the opposite.

The law of agreement, applied to work, means to first greet an idea, criticism, or question with something positive. You could say, “Here’s what I like about that,” or “here’s what your idea makes me think about.”

Be the conductor means to demonstrate command, to assert leadership. That doesn’t mean you should dominate the discussion.

Avoid using your meeting to dump data. Instead, use the meeting to discuss and debate so that you (and/or the group) can decide and act.

To maintain control, you don’t need to dominate, but you do need to drive the structure. Begin with your purpose. What is it? And what decisions need to get made, and by whom?