When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

by Chen Chen

Come amble & ampersand in the slippery polar clutter.

& my unsweet, uncharming, completely uninteresting sadness. I wish it could unbelong itself from me,

in all your unbridled unknowability.

Racked by doubt, but not yet wrecked by it,

I WILL MISS THE PARTICULAR

Why can’t you see me? Why can’t I stop needing you to see me? For someone who looks like you to look at me,

undo me left & sight north & mouth uncompass me with your tender your further & sideways impossibilities come on murk me blue me knock me out out of me my tight & goodly just sweetly behead me

& everything is salt, noise, struggle, hair, carrying, kisses, leaving, myth, popcorn, mothers, bad habits, questions.

I have to forgive in order to love? Or do I have to love for forgiveness to even be possible? What do you think? I’m trying out this thing where questions about love & forgiveness are a form of work I’d rather not do alone.