Insight: Why We Are Less Self-Aware Than We Think—and What to Do About It

by Tasha Eurich

APPENDIX K What Is Your Need for Absolute Truth? As you read in chapter 5, a need for absolute truth is an enemy of insight because it blinds us to our many complexities, contradictions, and nuances. To find out whether a need for absolute truth is closing you off to a multifaceted understanding of yourself, for each item below, choose the number that best describes your behavior in general. Try to look at how you’re actually behaving, rather than how you wish to behave. When you’re finished, average your responses and review the guide on the following page.* * Omer Faruk Simsek. “Self-absorption paradox is not a paradox: Illuminating the dark side of self-reflection.” International Journal of Psychology 48.6 (2013): 1109–1121.

APPENDIX L How Often Do You Ruminate? As you read in chapter 5, we all have a Ruminator buried inside of us—a nefarious character lying in wait to sabotage our attempts at insight by second-guessing our choices, reminding us of our failings, and sending us down an unproductive spiral of self-criticism and self-doubt. To see how much power the Ruminator is exerting over you, for each item below, choose the number that best describes your behavior in general. Try to look at how you’re actually behaving, rather than how you wish to behave. When you’re finished, average your responses and review the guide on the next page.* * Paul D. Trapnell and Jennifer D. Campbell. “Private self-consciousness and the five-factor model of personality: Distinguishing rumination from reflection.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 76.2 (1999): 284.

APPENDIX M Do You Have a Learn-Well or Do-Well Mindset? As you read in chapter 5, when faced with a challenging task, seeing it as an opportunity for learning (a “learn-well” mindset”) rather than performance (a “do-well” mindset) can stop us from ruminating in the face of failure—and at the same time help us improve our performance. To see which mindset you gravitate toward, read the statements below and circle the ones that apply to you. When making your selections, try to look at how you’re actually behaving, rather than how you wish to behave. I like it when my colleagues know how well I’m doing on a project. I am willing to select challenging work assignments that will help me improve my skills. I’d be more likely to choose to work on a project I know I can do well than experiment with a new project. I often look for ways to improve my knowledge. I tend to avoid situations where I might not perform well. I like to set challenging goals I might not meet versus easy goals I know I can surpass. When others are trying to solve a problem, I enjoy it when I already know the answer. I prefer to work in environments with extremely high expectations. If you found yourself circling more odd-numbered questions, you’re more likely to have a do-well mindset, and if you circled more even-numbered ones, you probably have a learn-well one.

APPENDIX N How Much Feedback Are You Getting? As you’ve seen throughout the book, getting honest, objective feedback from others is the best tool we have for becoming more externally self-aware. To see if you are using this valuable tool to its fullest advantage, for each item below, choose the number that best describes your behavior in general. Try to look at how you’re actually behaving, rather than how you wish to behave. When you’re finished, average your responses and review the guide below.

APPENDIX O Free 360 Feedback Resources If your company doesn’t have institutionalized 360s, it doesn’t mean you can’t take one. Though many can cost upwards of $500, here are a few “forever free” options: PersonalityPad.org was developed by Eric Papas and his research team at the University of Virginia. Their noble goal is to make multi-source feedback available to everyone. The 10-question assessment is easy to complete, and the results are high-level but enlightening. SelfStir.com is more comprehensive: it’s longer, includes open-ended responses, and even spits out a detailed report. BankableLeadership.com is one I created for the launch of my first book, Bankable Leadership. The 12-item survey will help you learn how you see yourself, and how others see you, with regard to your “people” and “results” behaviors. If you decide to use one or more of these tools, I suggest that you contact the people you want to rate you in advance. Just explain that you’re doing a 360, that you’d love to have them anonymously participate, and that they’ll be getting an e-mail with a link to a survey so they can provide their observations of your behavior. Not only does this ensure the survey e-mail doesn’t get lost in their junk folder; a personal appeal will help them understand the context and how important their participation is for your continued growth and development.