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“we ultimately want to get the government out of the business of deciding whether you get tax benefits, health insurance, and immigration status based on whom you’re having sex with.”15
In situations like this, it’s critical that one’s ability to move on is not contingent on the other person feeling the “appropriate” amount of guilt and regret.
Ending a marriage goes beyond the signing of divorce papers. And divorce is not the end of a family; it’s a reorganization.
Letters that capture what they’ll miss, what they cherish, what they take responsibility for, and what they wish for each other. This allows them to honor the riches of their relationship, to mourn the pain of its loss, and to mark its legacy.
How can we better fortify our relationship against infidelity? And how can we bring some of the erotic vitality of illicit love into our authorized unions?
Couples who feel free to talk honestly about their desires, even when they are not directed at each other, paradoxically become closer.
We admit that as much as we may want it to, their sexuality does not revolve solely around us. They may choose to share it only with us, but its roots are far-reaching. We are the recipients, not the sole sources, of their unfurling desires.
trust is an active engagement with the unpredictable.
Our partners do not belong to us; they are only on loan, with an option to renew—or not.