Words in Deep Blue

by Cath Crowley

You can’t patch up someone forgetting about you. For the rest of your life you’ll always be wondering if they’ll forget about you again. You’ll always know that they’d be a hundred per cent fine without you but you wouldn’t be a hundred per cent fine without them.

There should be a disconnect button you can push when someone leaves: you’ve fucked me over, therefore I no longer love you. I’m not asking for the button to be connected to an ejector seat that removes them from the universe, just one small button that removes them from your heart.

I mean words don’t stop us from dying. They don’t give us the dead back. Death is the biggest in the big scheme of things. Rachel

I don’t believe that the future gives us signs. I think that we look back and read the past with the present in our eyes.

It’s dangerous talking to him because it makes me want to talk more and more. I turn off the phone, and then I turn it back on. I look at the text for a while, and then I eventually decide it’s rude not to reply.

‘I don’t know how to tell her,’ I say into the quiet. ‘Perhaps start by telling her she was loved.’

I can live without a definite future as long as you’re in that indefinite future with me.’