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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Mel Robbins
Read between
December 30, 2024 - January 2, 2025
As your heart starts to race, your mind races for an explanation so it can make sense of what’s happening to your bo...
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If your mind can’t find a suitable explanation, your brain will make the anxiety worse so that you will want to physically run away from the situation
I understood neither the difference between normal panic and panic attacks, nor the role that my mind was playing in escalating my anxiety.
Trying To Calm Down Does Not Work
reason. When you feel anxious, you are in a state of physical agitation.
When you tell a person to calm down, you are asking someone to go from 60 mph to 0 mph. It’s like trying to stop a freight train by throwing a boulder in front of it;
people who naturally try to suppress their unwanted thoughts end up being more distressed by said thoughts.
when you try to tell yourself to just calm down, you make the anxiety worse because you are fighting against it!
Using the #5SecondRule to assert control over your mind and then reframing the anxiety as excitement so that your brain doesn’t escalate it and your body can calm down.
Excitement and Anxiety Feel the Same In Your Body
people: I have never gotten over my fears and nerves; I just use them to my advantage.
I don’t call it “nerves.” I call it “excitement” because physiologically anxiety and excitement are the exact same thing.
Fear and excitement are the exact same thing in your body.
The only difference between excitement and anxiety is what ...
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If your brain has a good explanation for why your body is freaking out, it...
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I feel the exact same thing as fear, I just channel it in a positive direction.
I started telling myself that I was getting excited; instead of calling it nervousness.
Reframing your anxiety as excitement really works.
since anxiety is a state of arousal, it’s much easier to convince your brain that all those nervous feelings are just excitement rather than to try to calm yourself down.
participants who said “I’m excited” did better in every single challenge than those participants who said “I’m anxious.”
telling yourself “I’m excited”—it doesn’t actually lower the feelings surging through your body. It just gives your mind an explanation that empowers you. That way the nervous feelings do not escalate. You stay in control
As soon as you feel the anxiety take over your body, take control of your mind, 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 just start telling yourself “I’m so excited” and push yourself to move forward.
You’ll have trained your mind to default to the positive: excitement about what you are about to do instead of the fear.
“I can’t believe how much I was missing by being afraid!”
was robbing myself of joy, opportunity, and magic every single day because I was living with fear. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Before a negotiation or a difficult conversation, for example, I’ll create an anchor thought of the conversation or the negotiation going really well.
You may have an extroverted personality and talk a lot, but that doesn’t mean you are confident.
The most vocal person in the room might be really insecure and only says what he thinks will make him look good.
how darn good it feels when you honor your own desires and take control of your life.
Remember, confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage.
Confidence builds when you do things that affirm your sense of self, particularly when they are things that you might not normally do,
the first time you do anything, it’s going to feel difficult and maybe a little scary. You’re going to need a little courage.
We are all capable of “acting out of character” when it serves an important purpose.
The most important purpose I can think of is improving your life in ways that make you come alive ...
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the more that you will believe you are in control of your life, and as a result, the more confident that you will become.
Every time you push yourself to speak when you’re nervous, act when you’re afraid, or get to the gym when you don’t feel like it, you realize that you can rely on yourself to get anything done.
From this belief in your personal abilities flows your confidence.
First question, “Am I ready to commit to this?” instead of the Feeling First question, “Do I feel ready to commit to this?” You’ll never feel ready.
“Am I ready to commit to this?” you’ll need to use the Rule to give yourself that final push.
Even when you are ready, it’s not going to feel goo...
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you can make anything happen as long as you listen to your heart, do the work, and give up your timeline.
The answers are inside of you if you have the courage to listen.
You are like some other people and like no other person.
You have something remarkable to share w...
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Leave nothing important unsaid.
Intimacy takes courage. Risking getting emotional or upsetting someone so that you can express yourself is scary, but the result is magical.
Quality of life is very important to me.
I’ve basically done exactly what I wanted to do with my life. And that’s all you can ever ask for…that and more time to enjoy it.” It
Waiting for the right time to get real in your relationships is a fool’s errand.
There is no right time to have the conversation, ask the hard questions, say “I love you,” or take the time to truly listen.
