... But I'm NOT Racist!: Tools for Well-Meaning Whites

by Kathy Obear

I admitted the negative impact of my past racist behaviors and no longer tried to stuff the deep grief and embarrassment I felt.

Somewhere along this path to accepting the truth about myself, I began to feel some forgiveness for all I had done before

but like did poc forgive her or did she just come up with an arbitrary point of forgiveness for herself

One of the biggest surprises in this process was the feeling of compassion I began to experience for myself and for other white people

yeah I'll say

I felt deep grief

The Path to Competence™ has been a powerful map to guide my journey. I am deeply grateful to Delyte Frost and Jack Gant for their wisdom and their willingness to share this model with others. It has been especially useful when I find myself regressing at times. As soon as I recognize I am in the Box of Judgement and shaming myself or others or I am in the Box of Fear and walking on eggshells and reacting less effectively, I know what I need to do to be more effective in that moment. Usually, it means I need to get honest and authentically share what I am feeling and thinking.

this is terrible vague advice. "usually it means I should share my racist thoughts"? what about taking a step back and educating yourself. it's not all about shoving ur own views and experiences in everywhere.

While it can be incredibly painful to read books or watch movies about slavery, genocide, apartheid, internment camps, lynchings, environmental racism, and the myriad of other ways white people have oppressed and still do intentionally oppress people of color

wow.