... But I'm NOT Racist!: Tools for Well-Meaning Whites

by Kathy Obear

There are many additional costs of racism for whites who work and collude in racist organizations.

wow are we suppose to feel sympathetic here?

When people work in a culture of fear and are waiting for the next shoe to drop, we all lose from lower productivity, lack of innovation, unproductive conflict, mediocre customer service, and stunted professional development.

"we should end racism because it leads to mediocre customer service" is the weirdest unsavory capitalist reasoning .... is the author trying to convince us ending racism is worth our time still? 40% of the way thru? where are the tips and techniques?

While many organizations state they want to attract and retain more people of color, the reality is that most have created a revolving door where

they hire people of color, yet many of these employees leave within 1-3 years due to the ...

White leaders might be more concerned about the racist dynamics in their organizations if they ever saw the actual financial loss incurred from hiring, training, and developing talent who consistently turn over, as well as costs from the serious disruption in productivity and burnout when employees leave and those left behind have to pick up time-consuming additional responsibilities. Leaders might have even more concern and willingness to shift racist dynamics if they could calculate the cost of lost revenue from their failure to retain more customers of color and successfully access emerging markets.

why are we framing racism in the context of production without talking about slave labor? lets be fucking real white leaders profit far more with racism than without. this argument is fucking ignorant. realistically It'd be cheaper ans easier to just stop hiring poc than get rid of their racist workplace

White people carry, often unconsciously, a significant amount of stress from trying to succeed in organizations that require adherence to white cultural norms and ways of being.

fucking how

It is easy to feel burned out and become less effective over time from having to always compete with other colleagues, hold in your emotions to appear logical and rational, produce vast quantities of work, live with the constant sense of urgency and perfectionism, and always worry that you are not good enough

these are given as examples of "white cultural norms" like being logical and rational.... God spare me. and good thing only white ppl worry about not being good enough . again no mention of the stress poc feel adhering to these white norms

We lost our true history while we were taught racist information about how whites were the superior race who civilized the world, freed the slaves, and built a country to ensure liberty and justice, peace and prosperity for all.

POC LOST WAY MORE HISTORY LETS MENTION THAT???

we were denied access to the truth about the role of white people over the centuries who worked in partnership with people of color to create social change and challenge racism.

what about poc who didn't need or have white fucking partners

At this point, most whites have two choices for how to deal with this debilitating pain.

the debilitating pain of privilege... fuck u

Another deeply impactful cost of racism for white people is the corroding impact of believing racist stereotypes and prejudice. It is severely debilitating for whites to carry this level of fear, distrust, and hatred towards people of color.

but ofc it's not worth mentioning how poc feel having these feelings directed out at them... there is like zero effort to truly humanize poc here and I hate it

we are crushed when we realize this is all a lie. I clearly remember beginning to wake up to this truth and felt devastated

how many times are w going to go over that white people recognizing racism feel pain humiliation shame agony debilitating fear guilt crushed etc etc etc this book is so redundant

I can’t find the words to explain how debilitating it was

debilitating count : 1 million. I so predicted this in my last note

painful reality of racism

more mention of pain etc

white guilt and shame.

ok New color code for this emotion bs is Orange

Another cost of racism to most whites

how many has it been now? vs how many mentions of the costs to poc?

The lack of capacity of whites to build solidarity across race

compared to poc..??? ofc whites can bridge in fact it is easier for us than poc

One of the most painful costs of racism for me was my lost humanity. I sold my soul for white privilege,

I had to wall off my heart

What’s In It For Me?

feelings of guilt and shame.

feel this depth of guilt or shame,

I actually feel a little sick as I write this

Whites need to find deeper, more personal reasons to stay committed to the work of racial justice or we will continually use our white privilege to drop out when anything gets too hard.

I believe we need to become grounded in how racism and white supremacy hurt us and find our self-interest to stay in the work for the long haul.

Personal reasons don't have to be "I will make more money like this" or whAtever... "I support human rights and ending suffering " is a fine personal reason. like it doesn't have to benefit your identity as a white person to be integral to u overall

White people will feel such relief from guilt and shame

As we pay it forward in our work with other whites,

what about poc

As we intentionally broaden our network of white allies and colleagues and build a community of support for our own development,

what about poc

One of the greatest gifts of doing my own self-work and staying committed to racial justice has been the opportunity to develop authentic relationships with people of color,

she constantly says this but never defines authentic

Maybe most fulfilling is that we can now be the role model, coach, and leader for other white people

helping poc isn't the most fulfilling part? nope it's helping white ppl

learned to partner with people of color

why is it never work under the direction of poc or boost their voices. why is it always partner

felt lost and unmoored.

felt devastated and terrified

ashamed

white fragility (DiAngelo, 2011). This term refers to the hyper-sensitivity and

defensiveness of white people when we experience someone naming ...

our negative emotions of guilt, helplessness, an...

feelings of deep guilt, shame, embarrassment, and self-pity.

I felt like a horrible human being,

I may never know why she cared enough to keep coaching me over those next years or why she invested so much of herself to help me recover, heal, and grow.

because she didn't want to let you get away with racism? especially as a diversity trainer??? why is this not clear

The model Path to Competence™, developed by Drs. Delyte Frost and Jack Gant,

There are five key elements in this transformational process: Box of Denial, Box of Judgement, Box of Fear, Box of Engagement, and Box of Competence

I was stuck in blame and shame.

I soon became mired in the quicksand of deep embarrassment and shame

my shame,

my deep shame

I lived in fear

I may not have progressed along the Path to Competence™ much further except for the bravery of a white intern at SJTI.

thank God for white ppl...no poc ofc...

I was enraged at the time and resisted her feedback.

Around that same time, I was stopped in my tracks when I saw a billboard advertising Listerine mouthwash that read, “Less intense, just as effective.”

this chick listens to listerine ads over poc