Sweetpea (Sweetpea, #1)

by C.J. Skuse

I read online that calories don’t count past midnight. Or is that just with Gremlins?

You have to play the system. They think you’re weak and girly? Act weak and girly. Use their own prejudices against them. Then when they’re not looking, cut their fucking throats.

‘This is a county town where welly wanging is an annual event and people have competitions to grow massive sprouts. We’re not cool enough for a serial killer.’

And I heard a great joke today on the Internet: How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? One – but only if you slice him veeeeery thinly.

Never break someone’s heart because they’ve only got one. They have 206 bones, break them instead.

one person has told police he saw ‘a woman in a hooded tracksuit walking a dog’. But who’s going to believe a woman had something to do with such a savage crime? Criminal justice system in this country is as fucked as the weather.

‘There are three ways to make your mark on the world. Do something ordinary, do something extraordinary or kill something extraordinary. You can be an average John, a John Lennon or the man who kills John Lennon.’