The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to be Calm in a Busy World

by Haemin Sunim

When love finds you, it consumes you; everything else becomes unimportant.

Love is like an uninvited guest. Love will come when it wants to. Love will leave when you ask more of it.

Your words and gifts will mean more to her when she is ready. Love her, not your feelings.

Love means loving someone the way she is. Wanting her to be a certain way is not love but your desire. Do not attempt to improve someone in the name of love. It is improvement only in your eyes, not in hers.

Love comes naturally and effortlessly. If you try to love someone, then it is not real until you stop trying.

We should love people like the sun loves the earth. The sun loves the earth without choosing to. It nourishes trees and flowers, expecting nothing in return. It does not withhold its rays but brightens everything with its presence.

love each other like two pillars supporting the same roof. While looking out on the horizon together, allow space between you and your loved one. Without it, you will suffocate and exhaust your love.

Remember this: When you struggle to hold on to her, she leaves. When you decide to let her go, she stays.

Give the gift of your full presence.

There are many more ordinary hours in life than extraordinary ones. We wait in line at the supermarket. We spend hours commuting to work. We water our plants and feed our pets. Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours.

Wherever you go, cultivate a sense of ownership.

Apparently most people are unable to tell the difference between a $15 bottle of wine and a $50 bottle. The extra $35 is the price of our vanity.

The determination to convince someone might stem from being not completely convinced yourself. I do not go around trying to convince people that I am a man.

By complaining that something we have to do is too hard, we add another layer of difficulty. Take a deep breath, and then just do it.

A majestic tree is the first to be cut down and used for lumber, whereas a modest one lives on. Likewise, a real master conceals his virtue and never boasts of his excellence.

Knowledge wants to talk. Wisdom wants to listen.

A bad driver brakes often. A bad conversationalist also brakes often— interrupting the flow with his own stories.

One word of encouragement, said with kindness and hope, can change a person’s future,

My dear young friend, please don’t feel discouraged just because you are slightly behind. Life isn’t a hundred-meter race against your friends, but a lifelong marathon against yourself. Rather than focusing on getting ahead of your friends, first try to discover your unique color.

Are you a controlling parent? Are you devoting too much attention to your child? If the answer is yes, then turn some of that attention toward your parents. If you are good to your own parents, then your child will learn how to treat you in the future.

There is no such thing as being completely prepared. Life is an adventure, through which we learn and mature.

Try these two things at the same time: Pretend you are already a champion and work diligently at becoming one. The gap between belief and reality will soon close.

The college you graduated from is not that important. The life you have chosen to live after college is.

When your teacher reprimands you, learn to accept it gracefully. She is doing it because she cares. She believes you can do better.

Never cede the power to make decisions about your life.

For unenlightened people, not every day is a good day, because they feel happy only when things happen the way they want them to. For enlightened people, every single day is a good day, because they feel free knowing that nothing can take away their wisdom.

“When a minister preaches, he must preach not only to the congregation but also to himself.”