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Robert Cialdini is the most influential person in the world. And by that I mean, he wrote the book “Influence,”
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NOBODY is 100% original.
1.Reciprocity – if you give someone a Christmas card, they will want to return the favor. 2.Likability – make yourself trustworthy. For instance, outline the negatives of dealing with you. 3.Consistency – ask someone for a favor. Now they will say to themselves, “I am the type of person who does James a favor.” 4.Social Proof – if you are trying to get someone to do X, show them that “a lot of your peers do X.” For instance, if you are at a bar and you are a guy trying to meet women, bring your women friends and not your guy friends with you. 5.Authority – “four out of five dentists say…”
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The entire purpose of language is to influence. We are not strong animals. We are weak. The language of influence saved us.
Speak to breathe spirit into an idea, to be enthusiastic, to convey emotion, to influence. This is the only way to have impact with your unique creativity.
I gave Robert the book as a gift (“reciprocity”),
Outsource the hard things they are asking right back to them.
Ask “open-ended questions” starting with “how” or “what.” Ask a lot of them. Be prepared in advance with your “how” questions.
“People are too primed now to say ‘yes.’ They know what you are up to. Get them to say ‘no’ first. That’s the starting point.”
“Ask them a question like, ‘Do you want this project to fail?’ or ‘Is this situation not going to work out for either side?’” They don’t want to fail, so they will say “no.” Now you can start to find common ground.
You can start to get empathy with the other side by listing the negatives on your side. Then they start to agree with you.
“Nobody wants to feel powerless. If the negotiation is not going your way you can say to them, ‘Sounds like there’s nothing you can do.’
Then it appears (and it can also be true) that you are doing the homework and preparation to come up with an exact number that you can afford.
Whatever they say, repeat the last one to three words. Do this as much as possible.
If they say, “We can’t go higher than $100,000 on salary because that’s what everyone else is making,” just say, “That’s what everyone else is making,” and see what they say next. They will always say more.
Don’t be afraid to go silent. Mirror and then have the confidence to go silent.
If they put a deadline on, don’t feel obligated to meet it. The negotiation won’t end. They still need you.
In Chris’s book, “Never Split the Difference,”
He got his voice about half an octave deeper and he slowed down a bit between each word.
“Always make sure your list is bigger than theirs so you can give up the nickels in exchange for the dimes.”
“No,” he said. “Let them throw out a number first.” For one thing, your number might be so high that they stop trusting you. And as far as anchoring, know what your range is and if their number is too low, don’t let it anchor you.
List your negatives down on a piece of paper. Figure out your terms and conditions in advance. Do some basic work so when you come up with specific numbers, you can back it up.
Even the master can be the student.
The key to success is to approach everything with humility. To know that there is always something new to learn in this surreal art of being human.
Ask at the end of the day, “Who did I help today?” instead of wondering about life after death.
Take a walk. Read a book. Write down ideas. Ask someone you love what they are up to.
could’ve been more curious about them. Then they died. I’m still alive.
But the reality is: no opinion matters when you’re eating bacon.
Blaming and complaining are draining. They never solve future problems and they only drain away energy from this moment.
self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go, ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’”
We’re as good as our weakest link. Find the parts of your life where you can jump on the steepest learning curves and make that jump.
There are no goals. There’s just growth.
Preserve energy for the people that need you. For the actions you can take that require all of that energy.
I think of the things the day before that made me happy. I feel how my body feels.
Because, in another flicker of time, we’re just gone. And everyone left will be happy about it.
It’s never my business what other people think.
The next day I will do my best also. If it doesn’t work then OK, it’s a perfect opportunity to learn.
I want to be the man with nothing to lose.
“People don’t remember what they don’t like.” And then he went on to create the Mozart rap. Which now has millions of views.
It cost me $7,000. “After Cameron arrived he came down to meet me for our scheduled meeting. Instead of being tired, he was super excited. He couldn’t believe what I had done for him. He picked out clothes and paid me back for everything. The guys at the Ritz returned the rest to Brooks Brothers.
“The less art there is in painting, the more painting there is.”
Leave behind everyone else’s definitions or else you will drown in them.
I think every outline has already been written. But each human has a unique fingerprint.
“Unless your work gives you trouble, it is no good.”
“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”
“Action is the foundational key to all success.”
Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, has an incredible world record: he’s missed over 13,000 shots—more than any other player in professional basketball.
“To copy others is necessary, but to copy oneself is pathetic.”
“Success is dangerous. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility.”
“The chief enemy of creativity is good taste.”
