Will Save the Galaxy for Food

by Yahtzee Croshaw

I swung my feet up onto the control panel and leaned back. The heel of my shoe knocked the self-destruct lever. Not that it mattered; it hadn’t been working since at least last year, when I’d been in a rather dark mood and given it a try.

Fucking gold.

“I’m just messing with you, Jacques. That was the other thing that didn’t add up. You and her, running away together? You just didn’t seem like her type. I always pictured her settling down with some kind of filing cabinet with a dildo strapped to the top.

In response, a convincing case was made that this was a pretty sexist thought to have in a modern universe, and besides, Warden was a woman only on a completely technical level.