The Good Life Handbook: Epictetus' Stoic Classic Enchiridion

by Chuck Chakrapani

The Handbook is a guide to the good life. It answers the question, “How can we be good and live free and happy, no matter what else is happening around us?”

To achieve freedom and happiness, you need to grasp this basic truth: some things in life are under your control, and others are not.

What you believe, what you desire or hate, and what you are attracted to or avoid.

If you think you can control things over which you have no control, then you will be hindered and disturbed. You will start complaining and become a fault-finding person. But if you deal with only those things under your control, no one can force you to do anything you don’t want to do; no one can stop you. You will have no enemy and no harm will come to you.

Select carefully what you want to choose and what you want to refuse. Be disciplined and detached while making the choice.

You will be at peace if you tell yourself, “Not only do I need a bath, but I also want to be calm and attuned to nature. Doing so would be impossible if I fell apart whenever something unexpected happened.”

Events don’t disturb people; the way they think about events does.

So when we are frustrated, angry or unhappy, let’s hold ourselves responsible for these emotions because they are the result of our judgments. No one else is responsible for them.

When you blame others for your negative feelings, you are being ignorant. When you blame yourself for your negative feelings, you are making progress. You are being wise when you stop blaming yourself or others.

Don’t be proud of the things you own.

What quality belongs to you? The intelligent understanding of your first impressions.

Don’t wish for things to happen the way you would like them to. Rather, welcome whatever happens. This is the path to peace, freedom, and happiness.

If you practice attributing the correct source to problems you face, whatever happens, you will soon find that nothing that happens outside of you pertains to you.

Remember that for every challenge you face, you have the resources within you to cope with that challenge. If you are inappropriately attracted to someone, you will find you have the resource of self-restraint. When you have pain, you have the resource of endurance. When you are insulted, you have the resource of patience. If you start thinking along these lines, soon you will find that you don’t have a single challenge for which you don’t have the resource to cope

How do you train yourself not to be anxious? Start with small things. For example, you have spilled something on the carpet or something small is stolen from you. Say to yourself, “This is such a small price to pay for tranquility and peace of mind.”

To make progress, you should be able to accept being seen as ignorant or naïve.

You cannot be in agreement with nature and, at the same time, care about things outside your control. Caring about one thing comes at the expense of caring for the other.

It is equally naïve to expect everyone will be honest. It is not under your control, but in the control of others who may act honestly or dishonestly. Therefore, we are at the mercy of whomever has control over things we desire or detest.

You can, however, avoid disappointment and be free if you do not desire or avoid things that other people control.

Always conduct yourself as though you are at a formal dinner. If the dish has not reached you yet, don’t be impatient. Wait your turn. When it comes around to you, reach out and take a modest amount. If it passes by you, don’t try to pull it back.

You may see people who are distraught and in tears because they had to part with their child or lost some material possession. Don’t let the impression lead you to think that something bad happened to them. They are not upset by what happened to them but by their view of the situation.

If you come across anything you find to be an impediment to your progress – even if it be something you see as an inauspicious sign, something that will bring you bad luck, do not be upset by it. Examine the impression. It is of no significance to you. Nothing outside of you really pertains to you. For you, every sign is auspicious, if you want it to be that way. Whatever happens, you can derive benefit from it.

When you confine yourself to only those things that are under your control, you cannot be defeated.

There is no reason to be envious or jealous of anyone. If you lead a rational life, the good lies within you. Our concern should be our freedom, not titles and prestigious positions. The way to freedom is not to be too concerned about things we don’t control.

When someone provokes you, if you respond with anger or some other negative emotion, your mind is tricked into believing you are being harmed. So it is essential not to respond to impressions impulsively. Take some time before reacting. You will see you are in better control.

Whenever you face difficult situations in life, remember the prospect of death and other major tragedies that can and do happen to people. You will see that, compared to death, none of the things you face in life is important enough to worry about.

If you decide to live by lofty principles, be prepared to be laughed at by others.

If you stick to your principles, people who make fun of you will eventually come around and may even admire you. However, if you let others influence you to give up what you started, you will be ridiculed twice: firstly, for following these principles, and secondly, for giving them up.

You compromise your integrity when you seek outside approval. Be satisfied that you live up to your rational principles. Be your own witness if you need one. You don’t need any more witness than that.

We need to accept what happens to us in the same spirit as we expect others to accept their lot.

Remember how wisely you understand when others face unfortunate situations. Apply the same wisdom when something unfortunate happens to you. Learn to accept whatever happens.

When you are about to undertake a project, consider not only what is involved now but what it would involve later. Otherwise you would plunge in enthusiastically at the beginning and end up quitting in disgrace when things get difficult later.

If you don’t pause to consider what is involved, you will end up like a child: wrestler one minute, gladiator the next; actor one minute, musician the next. You will be like a monkey that imitates whatever comes its way, drawn by different things. You have not paid attention, and you have not thought things through. You are being casual and arbitrary.

You can’t be like a child playing different roles. You have to be one person and stick with the role you have chosen for yourself.

Understand your connections to other people. In a relationship, it does not matter what the other person does.

No one can hurt you unless you let them. You are hurt the moment you believe you are. In all social dealings – as a father, mother, brother, friend, citizen, etc. – remember what your role is. It does not matter what the other person does.

If a divine order exists, as it does, we should hold correct beliefs about it.

But first you should stop applying labels like “good” and “bad” to what is not under your control. The labels good and bad apply only to things under your control. If you consider anything beyond your control as good or bad, you will fail to get what you want and get what you don’t want. You will blame the divine order and think of it as the cause of your troubles