Wait for It

by Mariana Zapata

Hesitating could be the difference between life and death, didn’t I know that?

Yep!!

everyone dealt with grief differently. Hell, we all dealt with life differently.

They were my boys. Maybe they hadn’t come straight from my body, but they were as mine as they could get.

People who knew me didn’t let me borrow stuff because they never got it back.

lol

You are better off being alone than with someone who doesn’t make you happy.”

“Because sometimes, Lou, doing the right thing isn’t always considered the best thing for everyone. Does that make sense?”

Dallas had his gaze settled on Louie the instant he’d opened his mouth. He smiled so easily at him it totally caught me off guard.

A part of growing up was accepting that you could be nice to others but shouldn’t expect that kindness to be returned. Being nice shouldn’t require a payment.

Jackson was standing off to the side with his arms over his chest, looking so unimpressed with life, I wasn’t sure why he bothered still breathing.

I cracked up / snorted so loud, my colleague gave me a wary side-eye glance xD

sometimes you met people who fit so perfectly into your life, you couldn’t imagine them ever not being a part of it.

“I’m possessive, and I get jealous. I know that. I accept it. I own up to it.

I already feel sorry for whatever poor bastard ends up with me some day, but he’ll know what he’s getting into. I don’t hide it.”

HEHEHEHE

I watched Lou and Dallas walk out of the house hand in hand and it sent this terrible bittersweet grief straight through me.

How was it possible that I lived in a world where my brother didn’t exist anymore?

I know the feeling :(

Sometimes friendships were built on baby steps, weren’t they?

You never know when even a little bit of kindness might change someone’s life.”

How did it never get easier to know that life was unfair?

“Diana plays outside with the boys all the time. She doesn’t mind getting dirty.”

I love you, Dallas <3

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short. There’re some people who you’ll never make happy no matter what you do,”

fr, right there!!

Trust felt a whole lot like love. You were giving someone a part of you, if you really thought about it.

And in that way that Josh and I had—my oldest nephew, my first real love—we hugged each other, side to side, by the car.

Okay, when I am a mom and my son/daughter doesn't do shit like this with me, I'm gonna be pissed. All three of them are annoyingly adorable ;)

Real love was gritty. The real kind of love never quit. Someone who loved you would do what’s best for you; they’d stand up for you and sacrifice. Someone who loved you would face any inconvenience willingly.

I wish with all my heart that the man I loved this way and the only man to ever love me so fiercly (my dad) would just come back to me already!! </3

I’d learned years ago that I didn’t have to do things I didn’t want. It was a gift of being an adult, getting to choose what you wanted and didn’t want in life.

I’d been apologized to hundreds of times in my life, but there was something about Dallas doing it that didn’t seem false or contrived.

“I’m gonna hug you as long as you promise not to grab my ass, okay?”

I legit cackled xD

“I don’t want you to go anywhere if that means anything, Peach.” This smooth motherfucker was killing me.

I liked him. I liked him a lot, and I had no business feeling that way. None. That was why I trusted him. Because some part of me really liked this man.

“You deserve the best, Dallas. I hope you find someone who appreciates you someday, if that’s what you want. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend. Anyone who has you as more than that is a lucky bitch.”

“Do we have fleas?” I gave him his flea medication on the same day every month. Dallas sat up and pinched his lips together, and somehow managed to say calmly, “No. You have l-i-c-e.”

Didn’t he know he wasn’t supposed to be this damn… perfect? I wanted to cry at how unfair the world was. But I already knew that and I didn’t have any business being surprised by it.

“Don’t marry someone unless you know you love them a whole lot?” I tried to joke. He tugged on my hair a little. “Basically. Don’t marry somebody unless you’re sure they’ll push you around in a wheelchair when you’re old.”

Swooooonnnnn <3

“I’m ready to move on with my life with someone who doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me.”

Dallas, my man.. please find me and marry me already!!!

“I always figured I’d grow old with someone, so I need to make the next one count since it’s for keeps.”

Marry me Dallas, just do it, dammnit!!

“She wouldn’t be my first, but she’d be the only one who ever mattered. I think she could wait for the time to be right. I’d make sure she never regretted it.”

Goddamit, why did he have to be so freakin' perfect??? *sobbing*

“If something happened to you, I wouldn’t be okay. I would never be okay,” he practically hissed.

I loved forearms. Loved them. Especially his. I could even see the veins lining his from my window.

His blink was the second most innocent thing I’d ever seen after Louie’s. The corners of his mouth went up just a little as he said, “Anything for you.”

His eyes met mine; we were both smiling at each other. And in that moment, it was the most connected I’d ever felt to anyone. Anyone ever. God help me. It hit me. It hit me right then. I was crazy in love with this motherfucker. I really, really was.

the truth was, I was in love with him. Completely. It was pointless to want to think otherwise.

I’d accepted it. I was madly, crazy, stupid in love with this guy.

he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me in—so quick I didn’t even have time to register his action until it was over.

Dallas kissed me. His lips touched mine, gentle, barely a brush, a whisper of a warm mouth and breath over my own.

The hands on my hips tightened, and either Dallas took a step closer or he pulled me to him because our lower bodies were suddenly pressed against each other.

I said it. I told him. “I like everything about you.” Because it was the truth.

It was only with family that you could be so fucking angry, and yet still worry and love them.

“I want you. I want your smile. Your hugs. Your love. I want your happiness.” He paused. “Every single thing.”

“You know I’m crazy.” “You’re my best friend. I know you’re crazy.”

I won’t break your heart, Diana. I’ve never been scared to work for things or wait for them. I know you, and I know that you’re it.

“You are the toughest person I’ve ever met, Diana, but you’re also the most vulnerable, and that drives me fucking crazy,”

I need you more than you need me, and that’s okay,” he told me. This man was going to be the death of me.