The Duchess Deal (Girl Meets Duke, #1)

by Tessa Dare

“No, I intend to use my vast influence in the House of Lords to overturn the laws of primogeniture, then persuade the Prince Regent to create a new title and duchy. That accomplished, I will convince him to name a vicar’s daughter from Hertfordshire a duchess in her own right. Of course I mean through marriage, Miss Gladstone.”

pookie is so sass HAHABA

“For a particularly ugly woman, approximately my size.”

HES SO WOTTYBHAHA

Or if not forever, at least until she was sufficiently old and feebleminded to hold conversations with a squash.

the way that i am learning so many new words. i will have an expansive vocabulary after reading this book

He had disturbing fancies of lifting her hand to his lips and kissing all that hurt away.

NO WAY IS THIS MAN A RETIRED RAKE CUZ HE IS SUCH A SWEETIE

“Well. I hope that teaches you a lesson about making dramatic exits.”

THIS IS SO HEHE AND HAHA

His little penguin bounced in agitation.

HIS LITTLE WHAT AWEEDD

“I am serious. Really, truly, honestly, earnestly, properly. And I mean to have you, completely.”

OMG IN LOVE ALREADY

What I’m offering is a marriage of convenience.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT IM HERE FOR GRAHHH

“You’re the vicar’s daughter. Pray for a boy.”

I AM DEAD

“Touch her and you will pay with your lives, you diseased, maggoty curs.”

TOUCH HER AND U DIE ALREADY EEEEEEK

“No, dear husband, I don’t believe I shall.”

tfheir banter i furly unmahed

Someone must have hurt her, to send her fleeing her home for London at the age of sixteen, alone and penniless. Ash wanted to hurt that someone back. With something sharp. And deadly.

hes so cute

“I am your wife. If you’re hurting, it concerns me.” Stop, he silently pleaded. Don’t do that. Don’t come any closer, don’t ask about my wounds, don’t prod at them. Don’t care.

aweee crying emoji

You may now admire my manliness.”

HA

He tightened his arms about her. “I’m here,” he murmured. “I’m here.”

THIS MAN IS LYINTO HIMSELF

“I like to know the names of the people I despise. I keep them in a little book and pore over it from time to time, whilst sipping brandy and indulging in throaty, ominous laughter.”

BYE

not when his mind could so easily reach for her.

why is this so cute tf

When I saw that it was, I said—fine, I suppose I want to live.”

HES SO FUNNY WHAT

“A demon come to drag you to Hell, you miserable wretch.”

im vryibg omg

“She was a girl.

shes only jut a girl

“Let’s begin again. You’re my duchess. You’re beautiful. Everyone should know it.”

ARUGHHH

So she was the source of his distraction?

OH

“Perhaps I will use Ash, after all. It’s growing on me. So very flexible, you know. Horse’s Ash . . . Jack-Ash . . . Ash-hole. ”

IM HOLLORING HAHAAA

“She wouldn’t have—” “Yes, she would have done so.” She had done so.

ASH BABY NOOOO

I certainly didn’t have the decency to let you walk away. I cared only for myself. Do you hear me? I only knew I had to have you.” Not only have her, but keep her. Make her his own.

gonna sob

“You’re mine,” he said hoarsely, lifting his head and staring deep into her eyes, willing her to believe. “If you leave, I will follow. Do you hear me? I will follow and find you and cart you home.”

omg

“Sixty minutes too many,” he said testily. “You are wet, and you are cold. You don’t like being cold. Therefore, I despise you being cold. I would go about murdering raindrops and setting fire to the clouds, but that would take slightly more than an hour. Perhaps even two. So we’re here, and you will cease complaining about it.”

“I’ll keep you warm and safe. I’ll keep you always.”

“I love you. You will never know how much I love you. There aren’t words.”

The wrenching, unmistakable sounds of his wife being sick.

SHES PFEGGO WHTTTTT NAURRRR

“To be sure, ye did. And then drank their blood, most likely.”

HAAHA

“Faulty rocket at Waterloo. You have precisely three seconds to move past it. One. Two. Right. Now where is my wife?”

IM CRYING HES O FUNNH

But you’re here now, inside. Emma, you’re the very life of me.”

I AM CEYING

And Emma was his salvation.

shss hi santuary